I've just finished decorating the tree.

It looks lovely, but I've come to realise I just hate doing all this.

Maybe it's because every year it takes a bigger push from Chris to do it, and this year it hit all the wrong nerves. Maybe it's circumstances around the job, and that's finally got to me. Maybe it's just a bunch of stuff.

I don't have small children around to please, and this kind of thing doesn't make me feel happy, let alone festive (whatever that means). I've been reminded not to think of myself over this, and that's right. But it doesn't do anything for me right now and I need to keep going and not give in, when what I really want to do is stop and please myself being miserable.

Damn silly idea really.