Tuesday, 13 November 2018

Musicians, eh?

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless military man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and because the area was so isolated I couldn't ask anyone for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down: the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "That was beeyooteeful! I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

Monday, 12 November 2018

My mind is going, I can feel it.

Well, that should catch your attention a little more than the usually quoted line "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that". Bye HAL, you'll always be one step ahead of IBM.

Saturday, 10 November 2018

Doesn't everyone just hate white, middle aged, middle class men?

We seem to be the whipping boy for every radio discussion, social media frenzy and twitter feed. Arts councils discriminate against us, company boardrooms are wrongly full of us and we dominate business. We are paid more for the same work, make worse decisions and create an atmosphere of resignation and disillusionment among the women that work for us who know so much better. We letch and bully, abuse and willfully harm for our own benefit.

I could go on. :-(

Misandry appears to have become entirely socially acceptable, and we are the scourge of western society.


Thursday, 8 November 2018

A little humour before bed.

Two 70 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you. Shortly after that, Joe sadly passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

"You're not Joe. Joe just died!"

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. Our wives are there too, and young and pretty as ever! And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired!!"

That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?

"You're in the team for this Saturday....

Do you ever wonder about stuff people do?

You don't HAVE to answer that question, though it might be amusing to do so.

If the current government loses the next elections (when ever that might happen) then this person might well become the minister responsible for cyber security among other things. Which would probably not be an entirely good idea.

And in an age when one can decide to change ones gender and ones name, why should you not be able to change your age and birth date too?

I am pretty much convinced that gender-fluidity, the current opposition to conventional male roles and stereotypes and the general post-modern relativity that society is reinforcing are going to lead to mental health issues and depression, especially among men.

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

A little taste of home.

I've just discovered the austriansupermarket.com while looking for Stroh 80. The baked good section reminds me of the various things that we'd get as children around this time of year, but good grief, it's a bit spendy.

Free shipping to Europe if you spend >99 euros, which is significantly less baked goods than one might imagine.

Saturday, 3 November 2018

Good morning from Tesco

Saturday morning routine. Visit mum, go shopping. In summer there's grass to be cut too, but not in November.

Clothes are silly cheap these days : for £50 I can get 2 pairs of trousers and 2 shirts. This year it seems that flower power has returned.

BTW yes, I'm slightly off my head with a cold right now.