Thursday, 17 January 2019

Life in draft format

It seems I have written more than 3600 blogposts in the >18 years of bleating here, and have 101 drafts that have never seen the light of day.

Often this is a result of being stimulated by something, starting to write and then running out of energy/enthusiasm/newsworthiness before completing the post. Sometimes I'll start and think "this really isn't somewhere I want to go right now" and just park the thing as a draft, if it doesn't get deleted. And sometimes I'll just click 'new post' and then not write anything at all, which then saves a blank page as a draft.

So I may try to review and complete some of those 'parked' posts over the coming weeks. I'm sure that will make for a roller-coaster ride of thrills and excitement. ;-)

Wednesday, 16 January 2019

How is she doing?

An older lady telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The old lady in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The lady said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The lady said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

Talking of old ladies, apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell

In a statement she said: “The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis”

Descent of the machines

Not so much rise of the robots then? Sometimes common sense seems like a superpower.

Saturday, 12 January 2019

Apparently it's true

Two peoples separated by a common language.

We didn't have the "green thing".


Yesterday after shopping in our local supermarket I was in the queue at the Check Out and heard when the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.

The woman apologised to the young girl & then sighed, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. You folk didn't do enough to save our environment for future generations."

The older lady said "Ahh yes you're right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day." She sighed then continued:
Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles & beer bottles to the shops. The shops then sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilized & refilled, so those same bottles were used over & over, thus REALLY were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Grocery stores put our groceries into brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) were not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalise our books on their brown paper bag/covers. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.

I remember how we walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store or office building; walked to the grocery store & didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go 200 yards.

Back then we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind & solar power really did dry our clothes back in our days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. . . . But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Back then we had one radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And if anyone did own a TV, it had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of a football pitch. When cooking we blended & stirred by hand, we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send by post, we used layers of old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, & we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the "green thing" back then. Back then, people took the bus & kids rode bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's expensive car or van, which cost what a whole house did before the "green thing"..

Oh and we had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest leisure park."

. . . . But it's so sad this current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

Thursday, 10 January 2019

We always knew Apple computer was a servant of Satan.

Oh, and Samsung, HTC, Xiaomi etc too, at least if you're part of the Russian Orthodox church anyway.

So now advocating for privacy has (sort of) religious backing too.

Tuesday, 8 January 2019

Waiting at Heathrow.

I've just seen a man step across the barrier with a huge happy/sad smile as a child came through the arrivals door. He kissed the boy - obviously his son, then kissed the older lad following.

A woman, also with the boys came through, swathed in a burka, and he barely even noticed she was there.

The first act made me happy, but the second quite sad. At least he knows HOW to show love.

Why don't you DIE?!

Probably not the best thing to shout in the circumstances.

Shelob was apparently not amused.

Just signed a card for someone's 60th birthday


I've got just 3 years to go, and 60 always seemed so old in a Kevin and Perry "you're so old you're practically dead" way.

40 didn't seem old at all really.

50 wasn't ideal, but was still OKish.

60? Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Someone here was talking just now about going mad, then one day taking off all their clothes and running round with a chainsaw. I have the chainsaw, but the madness bit doesn't really appeal, nor the public nudity. But stuff this age business.

Where does one go from here, other than the gentle decline to senility, heart attacks (if you're lucky) or the home for geriatrics (if you aren't)?

What makes one personal preference OK and another not?

I was mildly amused at this article about a man who finds younger women attractive and older women not. So it's all about love when it comes to same-sex relationships, but it's not when it comes to youth and beauty?

Love, lust and infatuation are apparently a confusing mixture.

Saturday, 5 January 2019

Just like that

Christmas is over, we've been back at work a few days and all the decs & stuff are in the loft. How quickly the season and holiday passes.

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

Not impressed.

Really fed up with all these new years sales. Went to Selfridges and they don't sell fridges. Went to Currys and they don't sell curries. Went to Boots and they don't sell boots. I wasn't very impressed with the Virgin Megastore either.

Just to say, this IS a joke BTW. :p