Monday 26 June 2006

Funny, the range of feelings one goes through.

I’ve just spent an hour or so in the lab. All pretty mindless stuff, like logging in samples, putting labels on kit components etc. It left a substantial portion of my mind to freewheel, so it started rambling through the trip.

In some ways this should be like a business trip – going somewhere new, making myself greet and talk to people I’ve never met, forcing myself to not be shy (I get terribly tongue-tied sometimes). But there’s a knot in my stomach of hot anticipation, that’s excited as well as a bit nervous and uncertain.

Ever noticed how thoughts slide over each other so freely, roiling away like a bucket full of eels when you have time without commitment. Yet produce a keyboard and they slither off into dark corners, fighting not to be brought into the light.

I AM looking forward to it – that second paragraph only expresses the concerns – but I am nervous too. Will I be cornered by a coalition of females all wanting me to answer for my stance of certain issues? Will Marc and various others seize me at candle-point to explain exactly why liturgy is so important? Will Dixie talk us through the anticipated birth of her next child (actually that would be fine – childbirth stories don’t bother me at all). This is a little tongue on squamous lining, but once or twice I’ve wondered what I’m going to say to certain people.

It’ll be interesting to see what Chris and I discover about ourselves and each other too. It’s times like this that what’s inside can come out, and while I doubt there’ll be any unpleasant surprises, it can be revealing to see what’s been growing inside.

2 ½ more days and counting.

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