I found the answer to my earlier question

Remember my post here?

Driving artound has been surprisingly uncomfortable for us, with both of us thinking about Sarah whenever we're in the car. I don't really know why, that's just how it's been. It's been like that pretty much every time we get in the car, some times stronger, some times less so. It's slightly different for me if Ben drives, but whenever I drive I remember how she looked when I saw her body in the back of the car. It's not a tremendous problem, but that's just how it is.

Anyway, Chris and I had bikes (well, I had the bikes and she sat behind me, but they were ours) from when we were first married. Ben was in Oxford, so last night after we got back from church we went for a ride to Burton Dassett, a country park about 10 miles north of Banbury.

It was a lot like being just a couple again, but in a good way. We were just happy to be in each other's company enjoying the countryside. Unfortunately it was windy and cold up there (it's high up - a spot for slope soaring gliders) and we didn't see the sun set, but it's still a lovely place. Riding there and back was also great fun, with the road sweeping away in front and the bike cornering smoothly through the bends. It took a lot of self control to keep the speed rational too, but we managed it!

I've wondered since if this IS part of God's blessing to us. A way of being together without all those memories being resurrected continually, and a reminder of happy times as a couple. If we hadn't agreed to buy this thing before Sarah died I couldn't have done it: I'd not have had the will, and would have worried that people would think it was a 'Sarah-substitute/middle-age crisis' thing. As it is, it seemed right to go through with the deal, even though I didn't really want to at the time.

Maybe now I know why.