Since I'm posting pics

Here's a couple of the mini in not-so-shiny condition. (Oops, spelling).

The boy has a toy to fix.

Guzzi V50 II / collection of odd bits of Italian engineering.

When I got home tonight he was cutting mudguard mounts from 2mm Ali sheet with an angle grinder. It's that kind of bike.

I'm still grinding away at Eusebius

And I'm inclined to believe it's a useful and quite informative grind, even if that's an unfortunate choice of words, considering how much he writes about martyrs.

This section of the book has been dealing with the period that he personally experienced during the co-reigns of Maximianus, Maxentius, Maximums,  Constantius (father of Constantine) Galerius and Lysinius (names are a little flexible, not least due to the OCR occasionally failing as the book was digitised) when the empire was split into separate regions. He describes a period of heart-rending brutality, though not at all out of character with other times in the history of Rome, when an emperor was able to take whatever he desired without limit or restriction, experiencing insatiable lust and then unlimited fear and superstition.

The church in the period immediately prior to this round of persecution is presented as having gone completely off the rails under benevolent emperors, with bishops building empires, frequent heresy and internal warring. The persecution was described as though it was God's just retribution on the church for failing to worship Him. The need to please God - the word 'appease' God was used in the translation, though I have no idea how accurate this is in terms of Eusebius personal or the common church theology - was seen as the way to get the persecution lifted. One has the feeling of a system of religion not so far removed from Judaism with updated details, and not like a vibrant, Spirit-led 1st century Christianity.

Throughout the book thus far there is a subtext of an increasingly sophisticated system of religion being developed, with significant variations between different geographical locations due to the power and influence of individual bishops. Some of these variations seem honest and of good intent, some because of emotional direction or personal preference, some of mistaken intent that would allow itself to be corrected and some of deliberate malice for the purpose of acquiring power and wealth. Martyrdom was frequent and common, often performed with a breath-taking degree of cruelty, always presented as being desirable and something one should seek in order to obtain a better salvation. Those performing the various tortures were almost always seen as being willingly directed by demons, no longer in control of themselves, and subject to Satan's will. Self-harming and deliberate hardship was also seen as desirable, for example Origen's attempt at self-castration so that he might become a eunuch, in his mind emulating the apostle Paul, was admired.

It's interesting to filter these behaviours through an orthodox 20th century theology, but futile to view them with 21st century secular values.

This book has really opened my eyes to what I formerly saw as rather bizarre, highly superstitious religious paintings that depicted the righteous going to heaven while the ungodly were sent to hell to endure various unspeakable torments. What I first though were the products of a superstitious mind, I now rather suspect is a replication of many of the tortures that early Christians were forced to endure at the hands of those driven by demons. The torturers were being handed over after death to experience the very things that they had inflicted in life, and the experience of those early martyrs created such a strong impression on the church that, more than 1000 years later, the result was still being reproduced in art.

What ever happened to X?

Where X is someone you worked with......

Having spent time on linked In building business contacts over the last week, I've been amazed at how many ex-colleagues have become consultants. Maybe it's because they (we?) have reached the age where kids are grown, mortgages paid etc, but I also wonder if it's a set of attitudes and an independence of thinking. Who knows?

God waits for us.

Yup, really.

Ever do a bit of a stock-take, and I don't mean just counting how many tins of beans or bottles of wine you have in the larder.

Since we were released from Heyford Park my relationship with God has been up & down. Escape came barely in time, and I'd reached the point where I'd seriously wanted to walk away from church and churchy things, not really wanted to carry on, burned out emotionally and plain tired of the politics and religious guff that made us dance round in circles. Our welcome back to BCC and the love shown then amazed me, but at the same time my emotions were in ribbons, and each meeting was a rollercoaster between boredom and tears.

Normality gradually returned. Sort of.

More recently I've found myself wanting to pray for people again, wanting to spend time with God (but often failing to do so) fasting a little, praying, studying the bible. I realised just now the change that's gradually taken place, and I'm grateful. Both the old Toni who could help lead a church and the old Toni who gets things wrong are still here, but there's new stuff on the horizon too.

Wonder what will happen next?

Back in the lab today.

When everything goes well, is understood and in control, lab life is easy and pleasant. When nothing works repeatably then everyone starts navel-gazing, looking at the most unlikely parameter in the hope of finding a controlling factor. 

Deja vu.

Sometimes it even produces useful information. 29V 560ma. It's just stuff.

Presently enjoying an aldesko* lunch.

Not to self - spell-check phone blog posts more carefully (less carelessly) than usual. 

*It's like having lunch alfresco, but sat at your desk. :p

More than a foot*

Someone described me as fabulous in an email today - I think Aesop would be proud.

*not merely legendary then.

Wednesday morning

Part-way through a coffee, feeling various pulls about what to post, wondering if not posting at all is better than saying anything.

So I finally decided that I cannot continue in a huddle, and that the book I mentioned a while back - Building A Discipling Culture - contains too much that is contrived or simply plain wrong.

And this bothers me.

A lot.

It's one thing to stand back and chuck the odd rock at the Church of England, because it's been built up over generations by some guys that were godly and some that were the opposite, and it's been constructed from parts borrowed from each generation that's passed through it's doors. But it's quite another to see people who I've known and trusted, at least to some degree, picking up something that looks increasingly unhealthy and start building it into a church group that I feel I've had a hand in building.

I mentioned there's a lot of crank stuff out there about Mike Breen and 3DM, and I don't know what truth is behind it (masonic - really??!) but one more sensible review I came across that didn't seem like that was here on The Schooley files.

I never refused to be part of a church initiative before, even when I didn't like it. Guess there's a first time for everything.

*edit* When I was a new-ish Christian and really determined to be radical and 'go for it' as hard as I could, the guys doing the heavy shepherding (as it became known) seemed really good. What could be better than following directions from Godly men who were sensitive to the Holy Spirit and bulding the church. Then I saw some of the effects, and how the guys doing it were just normal Spirit-filled christians who made mistakes, were sometimes self-serving or unable to step out without an OK from the guy they were following. And then I saw the church splits, not first hand, fortunately.

A key difference is that heavy shepherding only really happened in relatively few streams, while this is seeping into many streams that have no natural connection to 3DM.


In other news, I have started running again, and while the knee is reminding me to take it easy, its not bad either.


And my assistant arrives here in 2 weeks. :-)

Differences between north and south

I heard today, about north and south pints and how to pull them. Beer, for ths unfamiliar with the word 'pull' in this context.

Apparently a southern pint needs to be drawn slowly, with just a fine skim of bubbles on top of the beer. Southern beers are often heavy, and need to be made peacefully. A northern pint apparently should be jetted into the glass to create a deeper foamy head.

This started as a rant-ette about Australian bar staff and the serving of beer that was too cold by a morris-man, shortly after a question about the etymology of the word 'coaster'.

After just over 18 months

The keyboard on my Dell is starting to play up, mainly the G and H keys. I have 3 years next business day on-site warranty, so may well invoke that before the business is completely closed.

Talking of fragility and short lifespan, a colleague's iPhone 5 started on the death-spiral of ever-shortening battery life a couple of weeks back at just 13 months old. If it had been a consumer purcase then Apple would have replaced it for him (as required by consumer laws) but because it was a business phone they wanted £199. Eventually this was negotiated down to £60 (the cost of a replacement battery) but his experience of Apple staff over the course of multiple visits to a store many miles away was not encouraging. I wonder if there has been a change in corporate culture?

I have been 'encouraged' by work to have a facebook account in order to operate a business page for raising awareness of the lab here. Friends outside of work will not be able to connect: this is for business only.

I'm also having to resurrect my Linked-In account, and worse than that, will also become a twitter user.

It's a sad day.

Writing with a gift pen.

A local business has sent a mass mailshot to all the businesses in this building. Result: a mass of free pens with a small LED light at one end and a rubber nub at the other.  The point of the light isn't hard to fathom, and I would guess the rubber nub is intended for use as a touch screen pointer.  So let's try it then.

Wkkind of chy CND t a fingip.

Works kind of patchy compared to a fingertip.

What does it say about your business to send out a piece of shiny junk?  What does it say about how you perceive your customers? I need to bear this in mind, since a growing aspect of my job will be generating publicity and business links.

A good lesson to learn.

Could any hearts have grown fonder in my absence?

One heart has at least remained beating with enthusiasm for me: Chris arranged a valentine 'treasure hunt' for me, and did it for Saturday morning because the rest of our weekend was booked up.

Valentine card plus a 'clue'.

The 'phone box'.

Once a cross

A kissing gate

The one to kiss

A gate that used to kiss, but is now disappointing

Home

The collection.

The clues weren't *quite* in numerical order, but it was very much the love that counted. :-)

That's a double-Holger

I passed 2 people just now in the corridor, both German, both called Holger.

In Britain.

Curious.

We also have a Viennese born lass who seems to have an Irish accent.

Europe is increasingly mixed up.

Who would have thought?

That carefree speed stripper was a floor polish?

I have a funny feeling that someone, somewhere, ordered a case and was disappointed.

January stats

Apparently I ran 64.5 miles in January, burning over 10,000 calories, and improved my PB for 10K by 1 second to 55.34.

Interestingly, although my longer distance PBs have been improving, my PBs for 1K, 3K and 1 mile remain unchallenged from 2014: basically I'm running longer, but a little slower. It will be interesting to see if new shoes make a difference to that.

The Card

WATS.ON

QUESTION TODAY
DISCOVER TOMORROW

RENEE WATSON
HEAD OF EXPLOSIONS


The business card sat there, staring enigmatically back at me as though the arrangement of words were entirely conventional, and any curiousness were down to my parochialism and inexperience. Nobody knew why it had been the only item with any text that had survived the 350 storey fall when Sagbaart was pushed - or jumped - and became a very shallow person indeed.

---------------------------

I have this very card sat here next to me, and it struck me how at one time it might have inspired a major science fiction series, but now in business marketing it's just another device used to attract attention among a million others all trying to attract attention. Reality and scifi have collided, and the result is...... ordinary. I'm almost tempted to attempt writing a story around this, but fear it would get abandoned without completion as my energy and interest were drawn away to other things. 

At lunch we were discussing the incredible way in which the internet has made so much information available to those who can find it, though this time in the context of looking up past court records. The information age is quite astonishing, but instead of heralding in an age of peace, wisdom, understanding and prosperity, mankind is the same as it's always been.


FWIW I do consider the card clever, and the business behind this does seem to be doing some interesting things.

Finally wore out

the running shoes that I bought back in Nov 2014, with a 9 mile run this morning. The sole wore through to the foam on the left outside toe area, and I was starting to have my doubts about them after the grumbles from my knees.

Went to a running shop in Banbury (no website) and they did a video gait check (have you had your gait checked? No-one's even been to look at my fence yet mrs.) that shows I keep my foot flat and ankle straight, rather than pronate. The previous shoes were bought on the basis of correcting (assumed) overpronation because I have very flat feet, the effect being that when running, I usually land on the outside edge of the shoe instead of the middle of my foot. The replacements have a lot more 'spring' to them, as well as better cushioning, and remind me of the first pair of 'real' running shoes I ever bought that made me feel like I had springs under each foot; a wonderful sensation when I was young enough to fly along.

Running on a treadmill was a bizarre experience, where I wanted to run on the balls of my feet, rather than with my whole foot, and 10kph felt almost too fast despite this being slower than my usual pace on the road. It's also slightly intimidating when the ground beneath your feet moves with a power and speed that you can't control directly.

SSDs are a wonderful development for computer users.

After pressing the ON button, putting the laptop down and taking off my fleece the machine was at the login screen. Silly really: what's a few extra seconds. And yet it's really nice not to wait.

I'd appreciate input from others about the 'person of peace' theology.

Over the last few years there's been increasing adoption of the idea of the 'person of peace' mentioned by Jesus when sending out the 12 (Matt 10 and Luke 10) as being a person with whom one should share the gospel. While I can see the adaptation, this is not at all how the passage reads to me, and is much more about staying with someone with integrity and honesty while performing an itinerant ministry.

In one sense it's semantics, but in another it seems to me to be seriously misrepresenting scripture. I'm also not comfy with the idea that if someone isn't open to hear about Jesus then you should "shake the dust off your feet" over them (the original meaning seems to have been effectively a curse) and move on, that accompanies the PoP theology.

I'm coming to dislike contrived theology.

Still getting used to the Nikon

But here's a couple of images taken locally.

Kind of cheesy and cliched, but y'know.

It's raining again

Citrix server makes life 'interesting' when the data connection for a computer is poor.

There's someone driving round and round the carpark that they should 't park in anyway.

I need to gather up, log and clean about 65 pipettes.

Concerned that my knees are still a bit tender.

Looking forward to dinner with Chris at Knife And Fork next weekend.

Thinking that theology is a funny thing.

Ditto one-way systems.

Ditto confidentiality.

Apparently I've run 52 miles so far this year.

Is that why my knees don't love me tonight.

Church news sheet done. Time for bed. :-)

It's sometimes the little pleasures.....

Like sitting down with a mug of gluhmost after an evening 'chilling out' with church people.

This evening 28 years ago I was at home while Chris was in hospital recovering from an event unique to women. The result of that event is still with us, I'm pleased to say.

Loved playing in the celebration in Oxford this morning, though I must be getting old because it left me tired and absolutely ravenous. It did feel like I could have carried on twice as long though, which is a novelty these days and also a good sign. I'm not much of a lead player any more, but can occasionally coax some interesting sounds from a guitar: was asked at least 3 times how I made it sound like a flute/trumpet (the answer is a big overdrive, longish delay and a volume pedal between the 2 for swells after plucking the note). My technique must be regressing, since someone mentioned sounding like Bruce Springsteen, when it's usually Fleetwood Mac instead.

It's so different playing with a band on a big stage and not being responsible for starting songs or holding the rhythm, just being able to add parts here or there. I almost never use dirty guitar tones in small church meetings, but in big meetings I'm running some kind of overdrive more than half the time. There's no need for clean guitar unless it's going to do something the acoustic cannot (like sound funky or groovy) and a mild crunchy drive tone adds muscle and fullness to an otherwise polite band sound. Really grateful to still get a chance to do this.

If there's a next time I'll have to take along the old washburn that I used to use in the cinema when the churches met together there 20+ years ago. That guitar encouraged a few who were kids at the time to start playing guitar themselves.

So today I pushed a little harder

Earlier in the week I reset the distance units Endomondo uses to track my progress from kilometers to miles, although it now informs me of my progress every half mile instead of every kilometer - more encouragement is a good thing, right? ;-)

So today it was still frosty, though the sun was out and brought some warmth where it fell, even though the shadows remained icy. Managed to run 9.5 miles = 15.3K. I'd really wanted the full 10, but my legs just didn't have it in them, and were getting tighter and tighter with every step over the last mile or so, however recovery seemed good this afternoon compared to how I have been in the past. Just need to keep bumping the distance up, since I've a feeling that my distance limit has a distinct hard stop to it compared to some who can keep going on adrenaline after their normal range has been exceeded.

And talking of pushing hard.

My fellow Christians, do you ever read books that have you exclaiming "you WHAT?!" out loud? We are working our way through Mike Breen/3DM ministries How To Build A Discipling Culture since it seems that Oxfordshire Community Churches are embracing the huddle program for discipling, and every now & again I find something that doesn't sit well. Latest was a reference to people in the west not breathing well, with a reference to what I though was a journal, but was in fact a quack website (http://www.breathing.com/articles/clinical-studies.htm) with a product to sell and an 'interesting' set of conclusions. And it didn't even support the conclusion quoted in the book anyway.

The book opens using the example of the 'horse whisperer' and making various assertions about how to break a horse and how that can apply in discipleship. But the story doesn't really seem to have much basis in fact after a bit of research (the family suggest he made up the abuse by his father, from whom he probably learned most of what he knew, and reading his father's book suggests an approach far from cruel) and it comes over as un-credible. This sows the first doubts, so that every so often there's another "you WHAT?!" moment, when something is spun a particular way. Quite possibly if I were convinced the material were good and I filtered it with eyes that expected to read good things then it would seem good to me. As it is, I like it less and less.

A quick web search throws up hundreds (possibly an underestimate) of websites protesting against the book, huddle program and 3DM in general, however closer investigation also shows the more prominent of them to be "protest against the apostate church/ranting/looney" variety, so not to be trusted either (and some were pretty nutty).

I just wish Christians wouldn't try to contrive stuff to support what they do. God is big enough not to need your lies and misdirection to support what he's about, and if the only way you can make what you're doing look good is by lies and misdirection (not suggesting this is deliberately the case here BTW) then you already know the answer.

This is an interesting time to be reading Eusebius again, and all the odd made up stuff that the church then was continuously trying to unpick. Some of the churches were continuing to use spiritual gifts up to the mid/late 2nd century, and I came across the first distinction between clergy and Laity (i.e. when the church has abandoned the priesthood of all believers) mentioned around the end of the second or early in 3rd century. They also have a bustup between the churches over when and how long the passover should be celebrated to remember Jesus death, with the eastern churches wanting a longer time and those centred closer to Europe a shorter one at a slightly different date. Much acrimony ensued, and there seems to have been a lot of plotting between various groups of bishops to do their opponents harm.

The book can be downloaded here. I advise reading it with understanding and interpretation, rather than as though it were truth.

In the present situation again I begin to understand why churches are so reluctant to consider new theologies and understandings - it can be so hard to tell who is a wolf and who a sheep.

Real life happens to us.

There is an amusing irony that on the first day with a little snow here (and I mean, a little) the fridge we've had for probably 20 years has just stopped working. I feels pretty darn cold round here right now though, even if most Canadians would consider it a mild spring day. :-p

And, on the point of booking flights to Bosnia Herzegovina, my debit card has been declined by the bank. Nuts.

Windows 10 - the revival.

So my Dell laptop most recently had 2 bootable drives: the original WD Blue spinning rust and a sandisk M-SATA card. Both were running W10 a month ago.

Reverting the spinning rust drive to W8.1 without removing the M-SATA drive borked that drive, probably damaging the boot manager and making it unable to boot the machine. Fine, I was planning to wipe & reinstall W8.1 from my Dell recovery USB stick, except that the drive had software on it that I wanted to deactivate in order to activate it on the fresh install I'd planned to create.

So out with the spinning rust drive in my morning coffee break.

The USB drive (another) I'd used to install W10 on it originally couldn't repair the drive.

As a last resort I popped in the Dell recovery drive and, within a few seconds the repair was done & drive bootable again. Excellent.

Log in.

Photos 10 > deactivate > done.

But.

Suddenly notice the trackpad works.

Really well (i.e. better than under W8.1).

After every reboot (which only takes a few seconds, thanks to using SSD, instead of about a minute using spinning rust).

After >30min of firefox usage at lunchtime I've not seen the graphics driver crash once.

So now I have a dilemma. Simply pop the spinning rust back in, close up the case and enjoy my better functioning W10, or continue with plan A and install W8.1, with all the delays, updates, software reinstallation and copying across of files (I'll have to move the lightroom catalogue back again regardless) required.

Decisions, decisions.

It's almost 5pm. Think I'll wack spinning rust* back in and see how we get on for the evening. W10 IS nicer to look at than W8.1, although the latter is warmer & friendlier in some ways (and I have more control over updates etc).

I could never have this kind of dilemma if I'd stayed with Apple. ;-)

*Amazon had a Sandisk 1TB SSD for £142.95 over Christmas, but I just couldn't justify the outlay, even for such a bargain.

Presently wondering if I need my head tested

Seriously thinking about entering the Heyford Park half marathon in about 6 weeks time.

Why?!

Managed 8.3K at lunchtime and then did some useful work this afternoon. Have also just switched Endomondo tracker across to miles from kilometers in the hope of getting a better sense of distance. With notifications coming up every K there seem to be an awful lot of kilometers, and it's hard to keep track of where I am in the run. If I'm doing miles instead then the spacing will be larger (though less encouraging) and I'll get a better idea of distance.

Now I need to run 10 miles this next weekend. Nuts.

Running through January rain

Isn't really my idea of fun, though I did manage 1hr 13min for 12.9K yesterday in windy conditions.

Today's challenge is leading worship at church, with just a couple of days notice (not a problem) and uncertainty about other singers being available (bigger problem). The fingertips are just too soft to cope with acoustic guitar, so it's going to be the JJ goldtop and hope that it creates a wide enough sound platform to support the singing. Some chorus and delay may help.

Sing if you're glad to be grey

I believe Tom Robinson, whose line I have tweaked appropriately for the title, is now happily married in the normal sense, and with children.

But regardless, the weather seems determined to not be clement, with iron-coloured skies, rain rattling on our windows and temperatures around 5-7'C. For my foolishness I've signed up to an endomondo challenge to run 1000km in 2016, not that it really matters whether I do or not, but that's an average of 20k per week, and I need to get at least a 10k in today in order to keep up.

Foolishness. :-p

Christmas has come and gone, and I wonder if it were here at all?

Yesterday (Sunday) evening we took the baubles and lights from the tree, decs from around the house and reverted to a slightly duller but more spacious house. I played classical music as I always do when handling Christmas decorations (in this case Handel's The Lark) because that feels right for the season (last year I played Rend Collective, which became almost unbearable with the emotional tension crafted into the album).

We had agreed to spend this Christmas seeing people, and so it was with travel 4 days out of the first 5. Great to reconnect/maintain friendships and make/keep in contact with rellies, but those I should have expected to have the deepest contact turned out the most shallow, while those that had been surface previously were far deeper than I'd known before. I also had to work a couple of days (and came into the lab on Christmas and New year's day to look after the cryostorage system) plus we took my mother out to Waddesdon to see the house and Christmas decorations (Dixie, if you ever decide to come over in December then you need to visit this place).

I think I just did my first non-Christian Christmas.

In the middle of it all, it just seemed like a holiday break with nice food and lots of travel - almost a complete break from the God-stuff, except for remembering to pray for a few people in critical places*. It wasn't a case of either denying or intentionally shutting God out, but with a gap between church meetings and becoming self-absorbed over the period, my focus shifted right away. Religious stuff has never been my thing, seasons mean little too, but I've never before had a Christmas without God involved as much as this one; it was as though time was susended, and I walked through the 'holiday' outside of my normal life.

In case you're wondering, I've not gone off to some post-Christian place in my thinking now, but there was a distinct need to stir myself post new-year, make effort instead of just being to be with God.

What should I learn from this? That I'm not 'wonderful' (like that's news). That when left to my own devices I naturally wander off? In a way it confirms what I always thought about Christian religion: that it's done that way so that those who don't live it have it lived for them, and they can just step into a different set of shoes for the festival. I hope theres more to learn that just that, however, and more than just which Nikon lenses are best and most affordable too.

Wonder if I'll remember to do next Christmas differently too?

*I also did my normal daily bible reading: working through Revelation, which will never feel the same after reading about the early church in Eusebius' history.