Yup, really.
Ever do a bit of a stock-take, and I don't mean just counting how many tins of beans or bottles of wine you have in the larder.
Since we were released from Heyford Park my relationship with God has been up & down. Escape came barely in time, and I'd reached the point where I'd seriously wanted to walk away from church and churchy things, not really wanted to carry on, burned out emotionally and plain tired of the politics and religious guff that made us dance round in circles. Our welcome back to BCC and the love shown then amazed me, but at the same time my emotions were in ribbons, and each meeting was a rollercoaster between boredom and tears.
Normality gradually returned. Sort of.
More recently I've found myself wanting to pray for people again, wanting to spend time with God (but often failing to do so) fasting a little, praying, studying the bible. I realised just now the change that's gradually taken place, and I'm grateful. Both the old Toni who could help lead a church and the old Toni who gets things wrong are still here, but there's new stuff on the horizon too.
Wonder what will happen next?
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