Ever heard of a nontrepreneur?

Nor had I, but this article on The Register seems to cover it.

For quite a long time there seems to have been a 'reality distortion field' surrounding the internet every bit as strongly as there has been within certain fruity IT companies. Google, for example, just simply ignored everyone's copyright on books, and has now placed huge numbers online for people to read FOC. The BBC (that bastion of all that's good in British broadcasting) has considered pictures found on the internet as being 'in the public domain' and has been known to use them while carefully stripping out the exif data (information about how the image was taken that might identify it) while carefully not paying royalties.

I'm not immune to this in some ways: I'll happily use software that is available FOC online (and I'm not talking about warez) and enjoy the fruits of other's labours. And that's fine when they are offered free, but the internet isn't really a place of computer hobbyists anymore, like is was in the late 90s.

Now knowing people as I do, humanity isn't about to miraculously transform into some kind of utopian culture, where everything you need and want is available free.

But the thing is, what many of the internet giants have really done is create a service industry ecosystem where the money just gets moved round in circles, without creating anything. And in the case of google, for example, what they've done is rob from the real world to pay for their exploits in the virtual one. As the report says, it's more and more looking like we have billions of dollars invested in a couple of hamsters and some guys in a horse costume.

So..... who wants to be the first to pay for facebook - to become a customer instead of the product?

Last night was the second evening

in the series I'm attending "learning how to lead worship".

A more realistic title would be "learning about the history and mechanics of leading a Church of England service", but that's obviously not how things appear to those on the inside. In truth, it makes me feel hideously uncomfortable at times, some of which is due to the mismatch between my understanding of worship and theirs.

One of the things Chris and I are discussing is the whole issue of communion, and the rules surrounding it. There is a lot of tradition that may be present for a good reason, but which seems distinctly extra-biblical to us. There's a degree in which 'if you want to be in the club then you need to follow club rules', but we wonder if the club is fundamentally wrong in it's application of those rules. I suspect it's due to lots of left-over bits from a doctrine of transubstantiation which were never really tidied away or sorted out. But, to quote our friend Eddie, that's a conversation to have over a pint.

Another interesting thing was the statement that a primary Sunday CofE service was, in it's entirety, to be about worshipping God. Not necessarily bad, but it may go some way to explaining why the church of England seems to produce a lot of church-goers that have little understanding of either their faith or the bible. I did ask how people are taught, and there was a bit of a sucking in of breath through teeth, together with a comment wishing people were 'twicers' (going Sunday morning and evening) or went to housegroups and biblestudies midweek.

It may be a little presumptuous, but this has made me step back and try to think through how, if I were God, I might wish to interact with those who were the church. Having walked with God more than 30 years, my feeling is He's very tolerant of the ridiculous mummery and words we use toward Him, whether it involves dressing in strange clothes or trying to find an infinite number of ways to mix the words glory, worship, Spirit, bless, honour, Holy, Baby*, praise and Jesus into our songs. Or, sometimes, both.

This is not to throw stones, really, but we're both still having to think about what we're doing where we are.

Did we do the right thing moving? Yes, we're sure of that. Should we still be here after ore than 3 years? At the moment I think we're in this for the long haul, and not just missionaries who flit in for a couple of years, create mayhem and then leave as it reaches it's peak. But I can't tell what the future is, and anything can happen.


* I made that one up, but sometime it feels like a song should have baby in it.

Just done some rearanging over on the left.

It was tempting to start a category "Blogs that I used to read when people posted" but that's too long-winded and a bit sarky. I'd also have needed to create a third category "Blogs by people whose writing I prefer not to read too often" and that comes with it's own hassle/questions.

At least this reflects reality.

So Steve Jobs is dead.

The original Apple computer did so much to open up computing, making it accessible to ordinary people through an intuitive interface.

I used Apple ][ computers from the mid 80s, and even had one at home for a few years. Moving to British Biotech in 1990, I found Macintoshes everywhere, and with no training, was designing new laboratories to scale using Macdraw. By comparison PCs were truly terrible, and even the early windows operating system was a bit of a tram-smash.

I was an apple fan and proud of it.

16 years later I came back to Apple expecting wonderful things, only to find that they had become the 'evil empire'. I'd like to believe that it was Job's illness that made him guide Apple the way he did, but I suspect it was his status as a demi-god of computing together with an inability of people to be honest to him that made Apple turn out the way it has.

Thanks for the Apple computer, Steve. It brought out the best in you and the worst in you.

Interesting biog here on the Register that brings a bit more insight into the man's character and background.

And finally.....

some time about now we managed to disappear, back to the flat we were very kindly rented in Auckland road. Going away would come tomorrow, but this evening was all about staying in.

And so, after pictures

we went to eat, and party a bit.

Cash was tight, and to be completely honest, we didn't actually mind at all where we were, so we ended up in some kind of hall in Canterbury road, Croydon. Our parents shared the cost between them (very kindly - we were not exactly rolling in spondoolies) and everyone appeared to more or less get on and have a good time. My side of the family pretended to be a little respectable and Chris's side were sometimes inclined to sing "knees up muvver browunn" at parties.

There is a certain irony

that in the last 35min I've started a coupling process, conjugating 2 things that many people would consider difficult or unlikely to work.

So it was, 30 years ago, that another coupling process had begun that many people said wouldn't work. I'm very pleased to say that we were NOT put in a gently agitated ice bucket and left in the middle of the room, although *some* ceremonies can feel like that!

I think some writing would have been finished about now, and then that was it - we started living the rest of our lives.

*You want pictures?*

Nah, this is 30 years ago mate - none of yer digital rubbish then y'know. You'll have to do just what we did - wait until they've been processed. Unfortunately you may be a little disappointed: the chap taking the snaps wasn't terribly good, and not everything was all that great.

Chris just turned up.

The woman had - and still has - style, getting there just a couple of minutes early*, and wearing the dress we chose together.

There was no mistaking the happiness.

*I said that if she was late, I'd say 'no'. The driver wasn't aware of that, and actually drove round the block several times, just to waste a little more time.

Pete and I probably wandered off

to head up to Holmesdale road, South Norwood a few minutes ago. Being late was never a good plan.


View Larger Map

Of course it didn't look anything like that in those days, but hey ho, you can't stop people rebuilding things that fall down.

If you want to know where we walked then you need to turn left down Oliver Avenue, follow it down past the clock tower and down station road. There's a subway with black railings near the end, and you'll need to 'walk' through there (not possible for a google car) to Clifford road, turning right into Crowther road. We left home from number 76 - which now has a blue front door - which was directly opposite Balfour road.

For those who care, looking back up Crowther (it's on a hill) you can see South Norwood Primary School, which Both Pete and I, and our mother had been through.

Around this time IIRC

My mother was just back from doing some preparations, trying to prepare a snack to keep us going (as she was very inclined to do) and paint a handbag blue to match her shoes.

30 years ago.

30 years ago, about this time.....

I'd hopped on my bike and belted off to Westfield road in Croyon. A certain Christine Porter had just stepped out of the bath, and was talking to me through the bathroom door. She warned me that her father would not be pleased to see me around that morning, and sent me away after various reassurances. I'm not sure what her mum thought, but all that really mattered was getting through the next few hours.

Broadway is pretty

Check out the pictures - if you care about that sort of thing.



Just realised I forgot to provide a link to the album.

Post mortem's aren't usually much fun.

And I seem to be rather good at doing them.

Preached last night & said a bunch of things that carried no malice by intent, yet reviewing them in my head afterward make me realise just how badly they could have been taken. That's not good.

Bluegh.

Lets hope people's memories are short and their attitudes good.

It's been a very emotionally charged day for me

and I'm glad to unwind with some *good dinner.

This morning I was feeling a little odd, but we sang a particular song that will always bring back memories of my daughter laying in the back of the car, blood & cranial fluid dripping from her nose, gradually stiffening and changing as the character of the person that lived in her body no longer shaped it. It's a very vivid picture, and one that will stay with me as long as I live.

This afternoon we saw someone baptised who has been through some very harsh and difficult times, and is still having to walk that path. I'd felt God give me some sections from 'Ruth' for her, but when it came to reading them, the intensity of her pain was so alive in the words that I struggled to do more than blub - when I could talk at all.

An emotionally charged day.

* Dinner was slow cook beef, pot roast for 5 hours at 130'C with Ras-al-hanout spices, soy sauce, white wine, onions, carrots and mushrooms in the pot. They were inedible, but it was good with carrots and pasta with red pesto. Nice.

Is it possible

to teach with a prophetic edge?

I hope so.

What has changed the face of the world?

Never heard of Keith Tantlinger? Neither had I until 5 min ago.

After the earlier comments about lack of blogging

I wonder too if it's just that we aren't blogging too many deep or important issues these days. I can't blog much about the church any more, and theology is often either self-centred, self-explanatory, argumentative or a combination of all 4.

Actually there's a bit of theology/church tradition that I'd like explained, and I know some visitors should be able to explain it, even if they don't agree with it.

In the context of communion in church, it was suggested that taking 'proper' communion meant we took part in the 'heavenly meal'. Now I may not have had eyes to see it, but I know my bible reasonably well these days, and this doesn't seem to crop up anywhere. Likewise bible gateway drew a blank, though I confess to not searching too exhaustively. The context was why a 'proper' cup and paten were required, but I don't want to discuss that especially. In retrospect I should have probably asked for an explanation, but it was getting late and we were all tired.

But I am interested to know if this is something else invented over the centuries, or if there is a scriptural background that I'm simply ignorant about.

Lion is Apple's Vista.

This is something I'm hearing increasingly, as people get used to the new version of OSX.

It's interesting that they genuinely do seem to have lost their way on this. Could it be fallout from Job's withdrawal, or just simply engineers being asked the impossible: to make an OS for a computer with full sized keyboard and one for a hand-held device with a tiny screen operate commonly?

And just when I thought things couldn't be worse that Snow leper.....

*edit*
I've been reading comments in The Register too much - sorry about the scathing lines to begin with.

Anyone out there mobile blogging from Android?

Wondering whether the app works well or, if as seems to be implied in reviews, it's a bit patchy.

Or maybe it's just that half the users are too dumb to use something like that in the way it's intended: facebook generation, each with their smartphone & all that.

Last year was the year of the Canadians

This year isn't.

But I was thinking about the times we'd had with some of you over last summer, and how I wished I could have shown you more of this country, and at different times too. There's a lot of images on my hard drive that have only been seen through one screen, but they bring back memories - I guess that's what photos are for, rather than to show everyone how good you are with a camera.

One upside of being 'alone' again is the freedom to go have a lunchtime walk/pray time. Lots of thoughts running around (too many work projects, not to mention preaching in a couple of weeks and a whole bunch of other stuff to do with music, worship and blogging) and concerns for friends and family. Facebook has it's uses, but sometimes it's easier not to know things than to know and be concerned.

Tonight was the first time

that I've lit the stove since summer.

Not by too much - but it was 13'C and dropping quickly out there this evening around 7.40pm. Got back from the prayer meeting around 7.45, and it was pretty chilly.

On a completely different front, it's interesting when you bump up against the effects of your psychological DNA.

Over the summer I had a young lass work as an intern with me. She'd completed her first year at a *good* uni, and was intelligent, quick, kind and just generally nice. She learned quickly, and listened to what was said as well as what she was told, if you get my meaning. After 6 weeks she was doing things that people can take several months to learn, and if she'd been working for me, I'd have been happy to trust her to do things unsupervised after a bit more experience.

But here's the thing: now that she's gone I have become aware that she was becoming another daughter. Fatherhood seems to be in my 'DNA' as inescapably as baldness and making bad jokes about the English language.

Now please understand that there was nothing inappropriate or untoward about our relationship. But I found that it was natural to care, to want to put in the best and to hope that the outcome was for the best too, rather than just treat her like someone passing through, to be used for whatever could be squeezed from them. Tomorrow I shall be back in the lab, and will miss her, even though it means I shall be able to focus on my own work undistracted.

Maybe life is that complicated after all

I'm inclined to believe that people are more difficult than molecules - harder to get hold of, define, understand and work with. A little like trying to hold a jelly that grows thorns as it runs through your fingers.

Life isn't really complicated

but that's how it looks on the surface.

I've been looking at how some antibodies interact with their targets, using recombinant proteins in comparison with natural ones. The application is in creating tests to measure natural proteins, but in order to do that I have to be sure the materials I have will give meaningful results, and that's not always the case.

I tried explaining to Chris this evening. Imagine someone sneaked in during the night and changed your tape measure, so that instead of feet it used millimeters instead. Now imagine that same person did this with most tape measures used by those whose opinion in how long things should be was most valued by the world. Suppose you then went and, using a standard of measure created and stored by a world authority, discovered that the measurements everyone had been using was about 1000 X too small. And not only that, but some rulers that you'd tested about 6 years before (produced by a prestigious University in the US) in comparison with the dodgy rulers had appeared to be wrong, but were in fact correct....

So you start thinking life might be a little more complicated than it should be.

If I did not have access to the tools and the experience that I do, this project would have gone in the bin by now (and it very nearly did anyway). However there is a very distinct possibility that things will actually work out well after all, and we may get a useful commercial product after all. And for those who wonder, I think there really IS quite a lot of grace from God in here, allowing me to keep going.

On radio 4 this morning (Libya content)

They had a reporter visit one of the prisons previously used by the old regime to hold political prisoners, now being used to hold those accused of fighting for Gaddafi. The description was a place of overcrowded filthiness, with sick and injured people who needed to be able to lay down & rest while getting decent food, fresh air and sunshine.

First interview was of a Liberian man, accused of being a mercenary but who claimed to have been a worker. He was articulate, spoke of there being no proof of him having been a mercenary, but actually *sounded* as though he could have been a mercenary (he sounded too sharp to be a simple labourer).

Next up was a young woman. She told a story of having been abducted, raped by the head of security before being drafted into their services. Shortly before the fall of Tripoli she had been forced to shoot prisoners at gun point. Her words were clearly spoken in distress, and it sounded very much as though she'd been through a system to break her will and character. This nearly had me in tears.

Has the blogosphere of my friends (almost) ground to a halt.

Maybe everyone is twittering?

Or maybe no-one has time to say anything.

Perhaps the era of personal blogging is (mostly) over and done now that the novelty is well and truly worn off. Most blogs now seem to be for the purpose of directing others how to think in one form or another.

Maybe I just need to get my backside in gear and post some content?

Stuff I care about:

My friend who has moved abroad, only to take their troubles with them: they can't seem to realise that drunkenness and sleeping with various people is the source, rather than solution of their problems.

My friend who believes people want to dominate the lives of others.

Friends who are sick and struggling.

Friends who are divorced, and in one case, gone from loving Jesus to being actively hostile in their determination not to be guilty for carelessly destroying their marriage.

The church: mistakes I make and my failure to do the things I should while doing the things I should not. Guess that smears into the rest of my life too.

The church again: why, no matter how much we *talk* about the Holy Spirit, the signs of His presence are subtle and hidden, rather than clear and overt.

My family and the negative impact the things I do might have on them (it's hard not to overlook the positive impact good things I do have also had on them). Included in that is wider family.

Where the business is going right now, and whether we'll have to can it at the end of the year.


That last is a potential source of fear - and one I'm fighting, having already given notice on the part-time job because I can't keep doing it.

Jabba the carrot

One of Chris's carrots, entered as a 'vegemal' in the Somerton village produce show 2011.

Just popped up a couple of small photo-galleries.

garden birds and Hook Norton brewery.

I hope to take more bird pics soon. They are changing - colours becoming more defined, feathers moving into place - as the year is aging. I think many of these were just the young from this spring's hatching.



Hooky has been brewed on that site for about 150 years, and the building itself is over 100 YO. Quite a fascinating place, with much of the original machinery still in place and - like the grist mill - working. The old steam engine isn't used as a power source any more, although it can run.

Singer

Today I managed to sync the HTC Desire with the Macbook

For those out there allergic to iPhones (in my case, primarily because of the cost and dislike for the Apple empire) but who are saddled with a Mac, I recommend Syncmate. You require the main application on your mac, plus a small app on the phone. In the free version you can sync just address books and calendars, with the option to include folders, music, images etc using a paid upgrade.

I already had most of the contacts moved across from my old Sony Ericsson W650, but this just helps keep stuff together a little better and allows me to get reminders from the phone. I don't need to control my HiFi with it - all I really want is a simple device for calling, sending text messages and (in rare circumstances) letting me wish 'happy birthday' to certain facebook users when I can't get near a computer.

Happy 21st birthday.

Doesn't time roll on?