I've not really blogged about it yet because I'm not sure what to blog.

We went to the Salt & Light bible week for just Sunday and Monday this week. It was great to be there, see so many many friends, get inspired, encouraged, see where our other family are heading.

It took a while to settle into the worship, despite really wanting to participate. At first I found myself doing it, singing along but with nothing stirring inside. Later this seemed to be less of an issue and it began to feel like I meant it instead of just repeating the words. It feels like a long time since I was able to relax in a worship time and just take part, though even then there was a little bit that still wonders what the guitar players are doing etc.

The second evening we were there Phatfish led the worship time, and mostly it seemed pretty good. Everyone was really going for it and after the second or third song the congregation went off singing in the Spirit. CLANG! One keychange and a new song later and we were back following the setlist again, instead of the Spirit. Sure we followed the new direction, but after that some of the heart had gone out of it.

After the 'meeting' part had finished the band came back for a concert. We had to leave that evening to drive the 140 miles back, but wanted to stick around and hear them. At the end of the second song Chris turned to me and said "I'm not really enjoying this". Since this mirrored my thoughts exactly we left for home. I'm not exactly sure why they didn't work for us. Good musicianship, sure, but they were neither a worship band nor a rock band at that stage and the sound was far from great too. I could hear some great rhythms at times, but it was all buried in this wall of too many people playing at the same time.

The good bits WERE good for us though. Very much appreciated Steve Thomas word (between Phatfish gigs) although right NOW I can remember very little: and that's no reflection on what he said. A lot resonated with the previous evening's speaker - Francois van Niekirk from Hatfield church in Pretoria. One of the things particularly was the need to be pruned to be more fruitful: not using energy up in certain directions which may have produced some fruit in order to produce a lot more fruit in a key direction. Chris very much felt we had already been through that pruning process over the last year, and I can certainly testify it's been a time of setting aside some things that were important, as well as feeling cut up and quite desperate at times. It's been a period of having to trust that God is at work, even when people didn't stuff for what appeared to be human reasons. This has not been fun.

And it was good to hear Mark Mumford covering the 2020 strategy on the Sunday morning. I still want to plant a church at some stage, and consider our present experiences part of the training for that. Wish I could get over the desire to whinge about the stuff I didn't like and to retain a Godly perspective on it all.

Essay over.