Tuesday 20 April 2004

Think I may have had a narrow escape tonight.

Ever found yourself close to snapping?

That happened this evening for me. I was when I was driving back from dropping Ben off in another village, all the pressure and everything just felt overwhelming. I ended up talking to God about how I really just wanted to go and hide somewhere.

When I got back there was still stuff to sort for the worship team. I ended up seeing very red over a couple of things (one of which was my unreasonable reaction - thank goodness for writing emails off line - now deleted). But tonight has been difficult, and I don't know when it will get better. Church is a mess ATM, and the biggest source of hassle. And both Chris and I are finding it difficult to find faith in the way the change of leadership is being handled. We've promised we'll keep working with whoever heads up the fellowship, but if we hadn't done so, I suspect we'd have started to consider if there was somewhere else we my contribute instead.

God knows what we can take, and I'll trust he'll keep me from going over the edge. Just that I prefer to be a few feet further back from the cliff most of the time.

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