Sunday, 14 March 2004

I had today (Saturday) off

So I spent the day with my mum.

Like Randall's, our parents are at that certain age whether things come to bits. It was really good to just spend time with her while I've got the chance. And she's still got an active and enquiring mind, experiencing new things and learning all the time.

As part of our time together she put a problem to me that's bothering her. She has a friend (that she's conselled previously) who's trapped in a loveless marriage. His wife, children and now grand children take advantage of him. He's just their meal ticket and servant. The wife also has a boyfriend, kept at a discrete distance. He's put up with this for years, but suddenly he's met someone and now wants to do something about it. But even that isn't straight forward - he's only known the woman a month. She's from Ghana, and as well as all the cultural issues and differences, there is the question of whether all she sees in him is a British passport and citizenship.

On top of that, he's got his Christian witness to lose if he slips. AFAIK they've not 'known' each other yet.

Not easy. Any thoughts?

I can't see any way through this that isn't going to involve suffering. My instinct is to suggest that he divorce to escape the aweful home situation, but weighed against that is the whole issue of divorce being sinful too. I certainly don't think he should become deeply involved with anyone else yet until he's emotionally stabilised.

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