More thoughts

Chris and I have been talking about bits from the heavenly man - she's nearly finished it, and I'll start soon.

She read the bit to me where Yun describes his feelings about western churches - having so much wealth and focus on possessions and so little of the power of God. I almost wonder if there's a negative correlation between how much you have materially and how much spiritually.

Remembering when I was first a Christian, I could recognise much of the same things in me that Yun was talking about. As a small group of spirit filled people in a rather un-friendly baptist church, we were aware of feelings of persecution. I think that we were genuinely willing to suffer for our faith (it was a time when the iron curtain was intact, and Vanya had just been published). And we did see God's power at work, quite clearly in our lives.

It's also interesting that my feelings about God and my approach to sharing with people at that time seemed to mirror Yun's. Yet I was completely culturally irrelevant to them, and despite all my best attempts, only ever saw 1 person actually make a committment apparently through my witness and discussion with them. In fact I was quite offensive to many people, in my determination to be righteous, and instinctive condemnation of the things they enjoyed.

Now I feel like I've softened and compromised in so many areas - I've reasonably well off, I tolerate vices in others and even have desires to participate myself. My steely determination for righteousness has become rusty, and crumbled in the face of temptations. I suffer the desire to acquire more and more, all un-necessary, if enjoyable. What's really weird is that I can now talk to people about Jesus (not very much - I'm too reticent now) and they listen a little, or at least don't throw it back in my face. Do you have to be culturally relevent to reach people? That's not how it seems in the bible, but that seems to be how it works round here.

Another area I really really struggle with is the near absolute apathy of such a large portion of the church. People just seem to treat body things as if they simply don't matter. We baptised some new Christians on Sunday, but it was a warm afternoon, and although there were quite a lot of their families present, at least 1/3 of the church didn't bother to come. I find the same things when we organise practices for the music team, or with house groups, or with outreach. Do people think the body of Christ is just a 'nice' thing to do occasionally, but not important compared to cutting the grass or sitting outside with a cold beer?

And why do people fall over 'under the Spirit' and then continue as if God never touched them? Chris and I wondered if it's just God's way of getting a few minutes of 'quality time' with their spirit :-)

Sorry for the rant. There's a lot of boiling happening inside. I just hope it results in some outward changes.