Does anyone else ever feel like this - all edgy and a bit out of sorts, like you want to be snappy and write sharp comments to people on Facebook & stuff, or be sarky face to face?
Last night before the church meeting I was tired, in pain, struggling, yet when I got there the weight lifted and all was fine. Tonight I've got a bunch of stuff to do and various parts are hurting, plus I want to be difficult and a bit bad tempered. My natural inclination is to find more ways to just please me, with various forms of entertainment etc. Settling down for work is not what I had in mind.
I'm kind of grateful for the present situation. It's given me opportunity to find out a little more of what I'm made of, see me a bit more clearly (only a bit!) and provided an opportunity to push against difficulty and struggle.
Sunday I'm preaching on intimacy. Now my preference for intimacy with God is to go for a walk, be moving forward all the time so that distractions don't hang around, while at the same time finding opportunity both to talk and listen. I'll walk round Heyford park a couple of times a week, praying for the area and trying to listen, but the route I use is a couple of miles, and I can barely walk 100 yards right now as my chest and back can't take the shock of each footfall.
There's a certain sense of deja vu from when we first moved to the Chapel and I was not able to play in the worship - it was almost like someone I'd been sleeping and having sex with regularly suddenly required me to be celibate. It's nothing like that bad, at least partially because I've learnt from that lesson, but it HAS worked to prevent me from being intimate in the ways I usually would.
So Mr. Grumpy has to deal with himself tonight. Probably all good practice.