Thursday 28 June 2012

Today is the first day

That I'm going to try to leave off the painkillers.

I've been taking paracetamol 4 times a day, every day, for almost 5 weeks, along with regular codeine at night and occasional ibuprofen when things have become too difficult during the day.  A few times recently I've not taken the paracetamol until a couple of hours too late, and really noticed the discomfort. But now there is much more mobility, the 'open wound' feelings in my back are greatly reduced and the bruising has almost disappeared from my arm, so I take that as a sign the deep tissue damage is pretty much sorted.

But I've been feeling so confused, lethargic, tired all the time since the accident, and I'm sure the meds haven't helped clarity of thought, even though they've stopped the pain from being so intense and distracting. Now I want to reclaim both my body and mind, even if it does hurt for a bit. I want the 'old Toni' back, who was motivated and able to focus, instead of just wanting to hide in a ball of self-gratification.

On that note, time to start working.