Blogpost 18 April 2007

I'm a day late - c'est la vie.

I wish thoughts wouldn’t just swim out of my head so quickly.

I’ve been wondering about the nature of sin and the nature of worship a lot recently, especially after my earlier post.

For me, it has become a real problem to do one of the things I enjoy – staying up late after everyone has gone to bed. After our stay in France with Martin and Jenny I really felt God start talking to me about it. I kind of set this on one side (ignore is too strong a word) as it was less than entirely easy to see why it was a problem and it had always been my ‘own’ time when I had some space for myself. So God gave me another poke through Chris (God with skin on, as Steve B would call it) together with what felt like a near total withdrawal of the grace/ability I’d had for the last 9 years to function well on 3 or less hours sleep the following day.

Last week was HARD.

2 late nights in a row plus late-ish Friday. I think I’m getting the message.

Monday night we had a worship team get together followed by a shopping trip to Tesco. I was in bed by 1am (pretty good for me) yet had burning eyes most of yesterday and really struggled to stay awake (through something I admittedly found un-exciting) during housegroup.

So the plan for me is that I’m not going to do frequent late nights – not ruling them out EVER – but they are to stop being a routine feature of my life. They just mess with my memory, perception, thought processes and general usefulness. Chris’s point, that I can’t work well, is quite valid and a key factor behind this. How I’m going to cope when I’ve had too much sleep/can’t sleep/ache from being in bed we’ll have to wait and see. I also need to start re-training my mind to think through thinks in longer, detailed progressions instead of quick mental ‘sound bytes’ as it’s been doing for the last couple of years. This certainly connected, together with my increased use of the internet.