Managed to do something stupid

and fall off my bike in our front garden this morning - a mix of mechanical failure and no room to maneouver. Ended up the the bushes with no real harm done except for my ego and a small hole in the side of my (relatively new) saddle. Now I'm all trembly sat here at work, and annoyed that I lost control.

Now isn't that a good image of life: circumstances on the edge of our control making us fall down?

God seems to keep taking me back to the book of Kings at the moment. Those who know me or have long memories will be aware that as a younger, possibly more zealous Christian I've been very willing to 'lay the axe at the root' as far as church went, especially where they created their own traditions that clearly opposed God's heart. This may surprise many, but in the last few years this has been quite heavily tempered by an awareness that the church is God's, and not mine to correct. I have considerably reigned in my inclination to apply the 'holy bulldozer' and begun to adopt a position of 'let it be according to your faith', even wondering if the demoninations were there to suit all the different temperaments.

One of the parts of Kings I keep getting redirected to is the era of Solomon and Rehoboam/Jeroboam and the subsequent kings. Without getting too wordy about it, Israel was just as much God's people as the church is now, yet resolutely turned away from Him and introduced all kinds of evil practices (anyone fancy burning their children to please the gods?). I feel He has been gently pointing out to me that some practices are not acceptable, and rather than accept what is going on, I have a responsibility to discern what is right and pleasing and what is human and sinful. This does not mean I have a right to set myself up as arbiter and judge, but also that I cannot just stay quiet for a quiet life.

Finding a balance in there is going to be darn difficult. I hope I can encourage in a good direction more than discourage from a wrong one.

The other thing that He seems to be talking to me about is getting ground down. Elijah saw God move in some amazing ways, yet when Jezebel threatened him he could take no more and hid himself. It is interesting how God did NOT say to him "why aren't you back in Israel" but instead strengthened him and gave him direction and purpose again. I've really been ground down in the last months, really wondering how I can carry on where we are, but in the last couple of weeks God has just met me again in the middle of it and reminded me of what He's called me to be and do.

It will be interesting to see where things go from here.