What do we mean

when we say 'I love you'?

As an early teenager I was puzzled to recieve gifts with 'love from....' written on them. I was sure these people couldn't love me - not like my parents did. I even remember asking my mother about it at the time.

Later, there was a first Girlfriend (she's on Friends reunited now, but I'm not planning to contact her) to who I mentioned the concept of love, as feelings ran very strongly through my testosterone-fuelled brain, but I certainly couldn't have said that I DID actually love. Good job too, as we only lasted 3 months.

And there was my wife - initially girlfriend - who I definitely didn't love to begin with, but after a period of time and various ups and downs, realised that I did.

Friends have come along in that time, for whom I've definitely known love, both the feelings and the determination to do them good.

Then there were my children, for whom love was semi-automatic after they're born, but also takes a time to build and grow as they did.

There is also my extended family, for whom love is growing as I get to know them better.

It's worth asking this question because the word 'love' is used in all sorts of circumstances and between all kinds of people. The conventional meaning - I have strong feelings for you - and the Christian meaning - to determine to do the person good over and above your own needs - aren't incompatible, but certainly aren't the same either. The Greeks listed 7 different kinds of love - I won't get boring going into that now, but they included brotherly (family) love and physical love.

We just have the one, often mis-leading, word.

But it IS worth thinking about what we mean when we say it. Do fancy the pants off (literally ;-) the other person, want to be close to them, want to do them good or just say it because it sounds better than 'yours faithfully' at the end of a letter?