Just occasionally there will be a little window that opens where if feels like the pressures have lifted and it is possible see God's plan. Then the curtain descends again and you're back in the middle of it all, with all the issues and thoughts that they provoke running through your head like they were before.
It can be so hard to seize and hold on to the reality when the storms are running around you.
There's a song we've been singing recently that talks about soaring like an eagle above the storms. It's mostly Christian triumphalism with an overdose of poetic license: the only people I've seen soaring above storms are those watching from the outside. Chris re-did the words for herself to something along the lines of clinging to the rock while the storm tries to pull me off, trusting that I'll come through in the end. From both our and others experience, God doesn't lift us from the storm, but enables us to endure it, even though it means suffering.
Or maybe something is going to change for me? That's not where my faith is, but hey ho, odder things can happen.
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