Playing out.

I've talked here before about how the church I'm part of has heard God speak quite clearly about the need for simple, corporate worship, with everyone taking part rather than a full band of 'entertainers' playing at the front.

Well, as the person responsible for the worship team this has caused something of a roller-coaster of feelings. I recognise that this direction IS from God, and therefore I don't have a problem buying into it with my head - however the heart doesn't always follow. The stage I'm at now is that I have been playing in a reduced worship setting for so long that I'm forgetting how to play all kinds of stuff. And while I'm grateful for the other musicians, I also feel like I've been carrying everyone else musically, which in truth, I have been.

Why post this? Because I feel the need to get with a proper band again and rawk a bit. I KNOW this will benefit my worship playing too, just like running regularly helps stop you getting out of breath if you go for a long walk. I'd kind of hoped to get involved with the area youth bands, but there isn't really an opportunity there. What's left? A christian band would be great, but there's always the tension of "are we a worship band (no) are we an evangelistic band (no) so what do we play for then"? At the same time I don't really want to play in a nonnie-based band, with all the potential compromises about evil music and mixed messages that can go with that.

I'm still turning this one over - there must be a reasonable solution. I guess it doesn't really matter in the cosmic scale of things if I just sit around and get frustrated a bit more - certainly irrelevant compared to what Randall's just had to deal with. But then compared to life-or-death situations, most of what we do is pretty irrelevant.

I'm OK - just feeling a little disappointed.