It's been quite interesting watching the video, seeing all those people. Dan - give your mum a hug from us - she found it really quite a difficult time, I think.
Monday, 10 April 2006
Baptism vid caps - at last!
Big thankyou to Alex for driving the camera and Clive & Carolyn for getting the DVD to us. Since we're all pretty much on broadband these days I'm posting a reasonable selection here. Quality ain't great, but that's just how this stuff is.
It's been quite interesting watching the video, seeing all those people. Dan - give your mum a hug from us - she found it really quite a difficult time, I think.
It's been quite interesting watching the video, seeing all those people. Dan - give your mum a hug from us - she found it really quite a difficult time, I think.
Darn, it's cold this morning!
Bright sunshine deceives the eye. It was -2'C in the sun just now, and I had to use warm water to get the ice off the windows.
Roll on summer.
Roll on summer.
Sunday, 9 April 2006
Baptism!
I've just re-watched Dan and Kita's baptism on DVD.
Makes me want to dance all over again!
I'll see if I can do some vid-caps tomorrow night, for those who wanted to see photos.
Makes me want to dance all over again!
I'll see if I can do some vid-caps tomorrow night, for those who wanted to see photos.
I was thinking about the need to post this morning.
Then I read Randall's comment.
Oops.
No, we're OK really. Thanks for being so concerned.
I've always been determined to not post here just to post. Putting up that clustrmap has made me start to think "would this help the hit level" and I've had to deal with that very firmly. So although that post says it was posted Wednesday, really it was finished Thurday morning, and I've only been 2 days without posting.
There'll be more later. TTFN.
Oops.
No, we're OK really. Thanks for being so concerned.
I've always been determined to not post here just to post. Putting up that clustrmap has made me start to think "would this help the hit level" and I've had to deal with that very firmly. So although that post says it was posted Wednesday, really it was finished Thurday morning, and I've only been 2 days without posting.
There'll be more later. TTFN.
Wednesday, 5 April 2006
Time to do something I've been avoiding.
Does anyone else remember the old Flash Gordon movies? Buster Crabbe running round in a pair of trunks, all slicked up with oil to look like he was sweating while Ming the merciless cackled in the background?
He (Flash) would always be sent to shovel fuel into a furnace that emitted some kind of terrible rays. Dale would look on aprehensively while strong guards forced flash into position. Then the seal would be broken and the door to the furnace would be wound gradually open by perspiring slaves and everyone would cower and wince under the horror of those terrible emanations that would make them sick and weak. At this point Dale would naturally dissolve in tears.
This feels a little like that.
The door being winched up is the cover I keep over how I feel. I just want to crank it open enough so that people know what's going on.
Basically Chris and I still find things very difficult. I am far more reluctant now to talk about Sarah than I was in the first couple of months after her death. Chris is quite often in tears and so am I occasionally. We're starting to face the anniversary of her death, and we're really not happy about that. When we talk about things it stirs everything up inside, and when people press on discussing stuff our family, mother (and fathers) day and all the stuff that reminds us that we've lost her then it simply tears us apart.
There are times I wish I could run until I simply died from exhaustion. There are certainly times I wish I could just run away from work, because I can't face doing anything, and feel guilty because I don't work well or efficiently and I'm being carried. Today I managed to get something done that's been hanging over me for more than a year to complete, and all the time I did it I just wanted to run away and sleep. My memory doesn't work properly, often I can't concentrate and have to constantly try to guess what people have said because my attention has wandered or I've forgotten what they said at the start by the time they've finished their sentence. I'm frequently tired, but never want to go to bed, and don't often sleep well when I do.
Where's the grace of God in all this? It's hard to answer that, but we're still here (there has been strong temptation for us not to be!!) and in the times we need to, we can help and support other people. We aren't down all the time, but we are some of the time. We've certainly had much happiness from our extended family, and they've been a factor in keeping us going.
Isn't there growth in pain? We'll see.
So please. If you're not really that close to us, you're welcome to ask if we're OK, and we'll probably say something like "yes" or "we're still alive". But don't press on to discuss with us how difficult it must be and isn't the anniversary close and what are we doing for it and how will we cope. So please don't be too offended if I just seem to go quiet and walk away while you keep blundering blythly on without a worry in the world. If you've been through it with us then that's quite different and it just simply doesn't seem to hurt as much with you who are close.
Not picking on anyone specific, although a number of people we'd call friends might wear the guilty cap. If you can look back and think "Oh goodness, I said something like that to them" then you're probably one of them! Don't worry - just learn from it. If this has offended you then thanks for reading, as I'm feeling a bit better with that off my chest.
Right, that's all.
Rkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrk CLANG!
The cover has been shut again.
Nothing more to see here.
Move along please, normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
He (Flash) would always be sent to shovel fuel into a furnace that emitted some kind of terrible rays. Dale would look on aprehensively while strong guards forced flash into position. Then the seal would be broken and the door to the furnace would be wound gradually open by perspiring slaves and everyone would cower and wince under the horror of those terrible emanations that would make them sick and weak. At this point Dale would naturally dissolve in tears.
This feels a little like that.
The door being winched up is the cover I keep over how I feel. I just want to crank it open enough so that people know what's going on.
Basically Chris and I still find things very difficult. I am far more reluctant now to talk about Sarah than I was in the first couple of months after her death. Chris is quite often in tears and so am I occasionally. We're starting to face the anniversary of her death, and we're really not happy about that. When we talk about things it stirs everything up inside, and when people press on discussing stuff our family, mother (and fathers) day and all the stuff that reminds us that we've lost her then it simply tears us apart.
There are times I wish I could run until I simply died from exhaustion. There are certainly times I wish I could just run away from work, because I can't face doing anything, and feel guilty because I don't work well or efficiently and I'm being carried. Today I managed to get something done that's been hanging over me for more than a year to complete, and all the time I did it I just wanted to run away and sleep. My memory doesn't work properly, often I can't concentrate and have to constantly try to guess what people have said because my attention has wandered or I've forgotten what they said at the start by the time they've finished their sentence. I'm frequently tired, but never want to go to bed, and don't often sleep well when I do.
Where's the grace of God in all this? It's hard to answer that, but we're still here (there has been strong temptation for us not to be!!) and in the times we need to, we can help and support other people. We aren't down all the time, but we are some of the time. We've certainly had much happiness from our extended family, and they've been a factor in keeping us going.
Isn't there growth in pain? We'll see.
So please. If you're not really that close to us, you're welcome to ask if we're OK, and we'll probably say something like "yes" or "we're still alive". But don't press on to discuss with us how difficult it must be and isn't the anniversary close and what are we doing for it and how will we cope. So please don't be too offended if I just seem to go quiet and walk away while you keep blundering blythly on without a worry in the world. If you've been through it with us then that's quite different and it just simply doesn't seem to hurt as much with you who are close.
Not picking on anyone specific, although a number of people we'd call friends might wear the guilty cap. If you can look back and think "Oh goodness, I said something like that to them" then you're probably one of them! Don't worry - just learn from it. If this has offended you then thanks for reading, as I'm feeling a bit better with that off my chest.
Right, that's all.
Rkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrk CLANG!
The cover has been shut again.
Nothing more to see here.
Move along please, normal service will be resumed tomorrow.
Monday, 3 April 2006
On the Same Subject
Chris writes.
Re the PDL, Toni & I have both just read day 21 'Protecting Your Church' so I assume this is what has set him thinking. (And yes, I know we are a little behind!!).
I too have found this whole section on 'God's Family' quite challenging, not because it is anything new, or because I dont agree, because I do, but just because it made me realise how hard it is to be what we are called to be as a church. How do you handle it when some people are not willing to do those things that are necessary if we are all to get along?
I found this bit quite encouraging (since I had felt a bit discouraged by some of what I'd read). Page 162," Be realistic in your expectations. Once you discover what God intends real fellowship to be, it is easy to become discouraged by the gap between the ideal and the real in your church. Yet we must passionately love the church in spite of its imperfections.Longing for the ideal while criticising the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension."
Don't get me wrong, our church family are really great, very loving & supportive & striving to be what we have been called to be as Christ's body. But still we have had our issues in the past, & people have got hurt (us too on occasion). We all really need God's Grace when it comes to getting along don't we? Because if we don't, as Rick Warren says, we are doing Satan's job for him!
Again on page 162 (I obviously like that page!) he says "Conflict is usually a sign that the focus has shifted to less important things, things the Bible call 'disputable matters'. When we focus on personalities, preferences, interpretations, styles or methods, division always happens."
This really reminds me of an issue that has come up in a church I know of. The previous pastor was a firm creationist & through him the whole creation versus evolution thing became a real issue in the church. Now I know some people enjoy a good debate, & it can be good to stimulate the brain & really think about what we believe. But it is also possible to waste time on useless arguing that creates tensions (2 Tim 2 v23).
Things came to a head recently when a church member took a family service & decided to teach the children about his creationist views in a way that:
1)those who didn't entirely agree with his point of view felt belittled their's, &
2)Was not well argued so that some felt that they were being asked to 'suspend their intellect' in order to take what he said on board.
People were angry & upset, it appears to have hindered the return of someone who had drifted away & was just coming back, & ultimately the person who had lead the service was so hurt & demoralised by the furore that he had foolishly but unwittingly created, that he felt like leaving the church.
Satan is laughing his head off!
By getting the church focussed on a 'disputable' matter he has created tensions, hurt & disunity. All he had to do was sit back & let it happen!
This is a church full of loving, caring people, many with maturity & wisdom, & I am pretty certain that they will work this out together. However so much harm has already been done, & I fear there will be some casualties.
Let it be a lesson to us all, we must pray for & work for unity within the church if we are to glorify God & be the loving, caring family he wants.
PS if anyone involved in said church wishes to correct me on any matters please feel free.
Chris
Re the PDL, Toni & I have both just read day 21 'Protecting Your Church' so I assume this is what has set him thinking. (And yes, I know we are a little behind!!).
I too have found this whole section on 'God's Family' quite challenging, not because it is anything new, or because I dont agree, because I do, but just because it made me realise how hard it is to be what we are called to be as a church. How do you handle it when some people are not willing to do those things that are necessary if we are all to get along?
I found this bit quite encouraging (since I had felt a bit discouraged by some of what I'd read). Page 162," Be realistic in your expectations. Once you discover what God intends real fellowship to be, it is easy to become discouraged by the gap between the ideal and the real in your church. Yet we must passionately love the church in spite of its imperfections.Longing for the ideal while criticising the real is evidence of immaturity. On the other hand, settling for the real without striving for the ideal is complacency. Maturity is living with the tension."
Don't get me wrong, our church family are really great, very loving & supportive & striving to be what we have been called to be as Christ's body. But still we have had our issues in the past, & people have got hurt (us too on occasion). We all really need God's Grace when it comes to getting along don't we? Because if we don't, as Rick Warren says, we are doing Satan's job for him!
Again on page 162 (I obviously like that page!) he says "Conflict is usually a sign that the focus has shifted to less important things, things the Bible call 'disputable matters'. When we focus on personalities, preferences, interpretations, styles or methods, division always happens."
This really reminds me of an issue that has come up in a church I know of. The previous pastor was a firm creationist & through him the whole creation versus evolution thing became a real issue in the church. Now I know some people enjoy a good debate, & it can be good to stimulate the brain & really think about what we believe. But it is also possible to waste time on useless arguing that creates tensions (2 Tim 2 v23).
Things came to a head recently when a church member took a family service & decided to teach the children about his creationist views in a way that:
1)those who didn't entirely agree with his point of view felt belittled their's, &
2)Was not well argued so that some felt that they were being asked to 'suspend their intellect' in order to take what he said on board.
People were angry & upset, it appears to have hindered the return of someone who had drifted away & was just coming back, & ultimately the person who had lead the service was so hurt & demoralised by the furore that he had foolishly but unwittingly created, that he felt like leaving the church.
Satan is laughing his head off!
By getting the church focussed on a 'disputable' matter he has created tensions, hurt & disunity. All he had to do was sit back & let it happen!
This is a church full of loving, caring people, many with maturity & wisdom, & I am pretty certain that they will work this out together. However so much harm has already been done, & I fear there will be some casualties.
Let it be a lesson to us all, we must pray for & work for unity within the church if we are to glorify God & be the loving, caring family he wants.
PS if anyone involved in said church wishes to correct me on any matters please feel free.
Chris
This is unusual
As someone who's been a christian for heading toward 30 years in the more cutting edge of the church, it's relatively unusual for something to appear that challenges me. That sounds egotistical, but it IS realistic. Sure, there's stuff like demands for women in leadership, gay marriage, pan-faith validity etc. etc. that rears it's head, but that doesn't challenge because it's plainly contrary to the bible.
What could I be talking about?
The PDL has been discussing the church and our relation to her as parts of the body of Jesus (sorry if this makes zero sense to anyone). This is actually a little difficult to put into words well, because it's still being worked through and my brain is readjusting.
I'll try to develop this a bit more later, but thoughts won't steady up and clarify enough to post what I want to say right now (I typed a load of stuff, but it wasn't right).
However I can see why Rick Warren takes so much flak. He's got a heart for the church in a way I've not seen elsewhere. In an age when we want to deconstruct the church, his views - and especially the relative size (and in some eyes, success) of his church would inevitably draw criticism.
What could I be talking about?
The PDL has been discussing the church and our relation to her as parts of the body of Jesus (sorry if this makes zero sense to anyone). This is actually a little difficult to put into words well, because it's still being worked through and my brain is readjusting.
I'll try to develop this a bit more later, but thoughts won't steady up and clarify enough to post what I want to say right now (I typed a load of stuff, but it wasn't right).
However I can see why Rick Warren takes so much flak. He's got a heart for the church in a way I've not seen elsewhere. In an age when we want to deconstruct the church, his views - and especially the relative size (and in some eyes, success) of his church would inevitably draw criticism.
Friday, 31 March 2006
Some very good friends of ours.....
have begun blogging.
May I introduce A church in Provence - the blog of Martin and Jenny Stead. One of their earliest posts already made me chuckle out loud. Knowing how the French are about their language, it's astonishing they should show this.
C'est la vie.
May I introduce A church in Provence - the blog of Martin and Jenny Stead. One of their earliest posts already made me chuckle out loud. Knowing how the French are about their language, it's astonishing they should show this.
C'est la vie.
We had a visitor afternoon
It was burying buns that someone had thrown out, picking them up and placing them in a pile of leaves.
So should this be a surprise?
Apparently 9 out of 10 women think casual sex is not good.
Actually I WAS surprised - I'd have expected about half to feel that way. Society, good sense or design. Any comments?
Actually I WAS surprised - I'd have expected about half to feel that way. Society, good sense or design. Any comments?
Thursday, 30 March 2006
Wednesday, 29 March 2006
Just one more thought before I go to work.
I've just managed to finish chapter 17 in the PDL where it talks about committment to a specific fellowship, rather than just being a christian who happens to go here or there. Quite honestly, it's good and clear stuff.
No wonder the 'liquid-church' don't like that book.
No wonder the 'liquid-church' don't like that book.
I'll be off the blog today
So I thought I'd put up a couple more images: you know what they say about a picture and a thousand words......
Especially for Peter and Carol Hill:
If you ever wondered where all your wrong-doing was remembered - this is where they store THOSE wages:
Sleepy Puerto Rico at night.
Especially for Peter and Carol Hill:
If you ever wondered where all your wrong-doing was remembered - this is where they store THOSE wages:
Sleepy Puerto Rico at night.
Monday, 27 March 2006
Back, and glad to be here!
Thank you for all your prayers and good wishes.
I kept a bit of a 'blog' going while we were there - more than a diary, really. As I get time over the next few days I'll try to get some of the pithier (and funnier) stuff up on the site.
I kept a bit of a 'blog' going while we were there - more than a diary, really. As I get time over the next few days I'll try to get some of the pithier (and funnier) stuff up on the site.
Sunday, 19 March 2006
Pretty much ready.
We're all packed, cases closed and lots of space (well, for now) in the rucksack we're carrying on the plane. Passports and tickets all together with parking directions and voucher. Ben's house-sitting, and I've already made and frozen half a dozen filled rolls for lunch, plus there's enough food in the freezer to keep him going.
We need to be away around 3.30am tomorrow morning, with the flight theoretically departing at 7.15.
If I can, I'll try to post and maybe even add an image or 2. Otherwise, by for now and see you in a week.
We need to be away around 3.30am tomorrow morning, with the flight theoretically departing at 7.15.
If I can, I'll try to post and maybe even add an image or 2. Otherwise, by for now and see you in a week.
Saturday, 18 March 2006
Friday, 17 March 2006
Some of the most important sites on the web were down today
Harmony-central, 18watt and The blog of the Ancient Mariner were all down today. Sadly, due to legal wranglings 18watt is still down, but I'm really pleased to say WE ARE BACK UP AND READY TO ROLL!
OK, Bring it on guys!
OK, Bring it on guys!
Thursday, 16 March 2006
Well, we're still here.
Funny how things go. Tuesday I was feeling quite robust and also aware of some of the things the future holds. Yesterday I kind of came to bits a little. The technique for keeping going has been to bury my head in things that I enjoy and ignore the feelings that are hovering. Now and again they'll either push their way to the from of my mind or be dragged up by things other people say to me.
We've got some of the increasingly inappropriately names 'Thursday 4' over tonight. Something to look forward to. But before that - meeting Ben's teachers for probably the last parents evening we'll ever go to. I think we already know what they're going to say. Guess you need to eat your greens before you're allowed pudding.
We've got some of the increasingly inappropriately names 'Thursday 4' over tonight. Something to look forward to. But before that - meeting Ben's teachers for probably the last parents evening we'll ever go to. I think we already know what they're going to say. Guess you need to eat your greens before you're allowed pudding.
Wednesday, 15 March 2006
Monday, 13 March 2006
A different kind of survey
Have a look at the gift test survey - designed to let you assess your gifting.
FWIW my assessment wasn't that great, so don't worry if you answer honestly and score 'badly'. It IS interesting if you want to see where your weaknesses are though.
Just don't take it as 'gospel' truth.
FWIW my assessment wasn't that great, so don't worry if you answer honestly and score 'badly'. It IS interesting if you want to see where your weaknesses are though.
Just don't take it as 'gospel' truth.
Sunday, 12 March 2006
We've just had a slightly strange experience.
Someone we know appeared on the doorstep.
That's really all I can say about it. Please pray for them, that God will break in for them and sweep away the darkness they're living through.
That's really all I can say about it. Please pray for them, that God will break in for them and sweep away the darkness they're living through.
Friday, 10 March 2006
Feeling very peculiar today.
I woke around 4ish this morning, and for a change, managed to remember to pray for some of you. But ever since getting up, it's been quite strange, with my cold and mental blurriness keeping reality and a slight distance.
We had a morning of meetings lined up with 'les Grand Fromages' from company HQ. Just before the start I got a call from Chris, telling me that her muum had collapsed from her diabetes again. She was quite upset really, and needed me to whizz into Bicester at lunchtime so she could have the car.
So here I sit, mid afternoon, my presentation's done, Chris collected, head still spinning gently, just looking to finish off the key tasks of the day before being collected. Hope we can managed to rest a bit this weekend.
We had a morning of meetings lined up with 'les Grand Fromages' from company HQ. Just before the start I got a call from Chris, telling me that her muum had collapsed from her diabetes again. She was quite upset really, and needed me to whizz into Bicester at lunchtime so she could have the car.
So here I sit, mid afternoon, my presentation's done, Chris collected, head still spinning gently, just looking to finish off the key tasks of the day before being collected. Hope we can managed to rest a bit this weekend.
Thursday, 9 March 2006
Very occasionally
.........one finds a site that stands head and shoulders above other sites.........
One such is the The completely useless web site.
Glorious buffoonery, albeit borrowed.
Just thought I'd share a little happiness.
One such is the The completely useless web site.
Glorious buffoonery, albeit borrowed.
Just thought I'd share a little happiness.
Voxy baby now works!
I had a D'oh moment last night.
It's all very well wiring everything to an earth bus rail, but that rail STILL needs to be connected to the electrical earth to function.
There's a dud cap in there too - waggling it produced various degrees of buzzing noise - but replacement is a simple job. There are a couple of further tweaks that are needed, but they should be quite straight forward. I need to remove the 'character' pot (variable 1st gain stage bias) and replace it with something to a fixed value resistor. I'll probably also do a mid and treble boost mod too.
It's all very well wiring everything to an earth bus rail, but that rail STILL needs to be connected to the electrical earth to function.
There's a dud cap in there too - waggling it produced various degrees of buzzing noise - but replacement is a simple job. There are a couple of further tweaks that are needed, but they should be quite straight forward. I need to remove the 'character' pot (variable 1st gain stage bias) and replace it with something to a fixed value resistor. I'll probably also do a mid and treble boost mod too.
Wednesday, 8 March 2006
I've just taken....
Not my life in my hands, but close - my credit card.
We're going on a little little trip.
Somewhere presently snowy, but probably full of mozzies by the time we get there. Chris, Ben and myself.
I haven't spent that kind of money since I last bought a car.
But I'm glad we're going.
We're going on a little little trip.
Somewhere presently snowy, but probably full of mozzies by the time we get there. Chris, Ben and myself.
I haven't spent that kind of money since I last bought a car.
But I'm glad we're going.
Where do?
Where do those who have 2 jobs, work in the evening as well as the day, and only have limited time out connect into church?
This is a good question, and may be where blogging partly fits in. Good thoughts from Jordon Cooper.
This is a good question, and may be where blogging partly fits in. Good thoughts from Jordon Cooper.
Tuesday, 7 March 2006
Clustrmap
Chris writes,
Wow I am amazed. I had no idea my hubby was so widely read! Hits from Sweden (a work colleague), India (Fern so Toni tells me) and now 4 in Australia (we don't know that many people in Australia), Malaysia (I think - but we don't know anyone there)& now what looks like the Canary Islands!
That is well as all our faithful friends in the UK, USA & Canada (& Marseille of course dear studmuffins).
How many of these are just where people have stumbled on Toni's blog at random as a one off I wonder?
BTW calling the Canary Islands, we are off to Gran Canaria in 2 weeks time, see you there!
Wow I am amazed. I had no idea my hubby was so widely read! Hits from Sweden (a work colleague), India (Fern so Toni tells me) and now 4 in Australia (we don't know that many people in Australia), Malaysia (I think - but we don't know anyone there)& now what looks like the Canary Islands!
That is well as all our faithful friends in the UK, USA & Canada (& Marseille of course dear studmuffins).
How many of these are just where people have stumbled on Toni's blog at random as a one off I wonder?
BTW calling the Canary Islands, we are off to Gran Canaria in 2 weeks time, see you there!
Sometimes I feel useless.
Trying to discuss celibacy, homosexuality, fornication and marriage vows with colleagues.
I think too slow, and I get self conscious and nervous. Words flow better from the fingers than the lips.
I think too slow, and I get self conscious and nervous. Words flow better from the fingers than the lips.
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