Friday, 29 June 2018

How desperate can you get?

Don't answer that.

Zombie films.

I mean, WHY for heaven's sake?

Look, I love stupid films. One of my favourites is Mars Attacks, just because, but zombie films leave me cold.

Apart from the physical impossibility of the zombie concept actually working (there's a reason we breath, eat normal food, require a working circulation etc) why would a dead person try to catch a live person instead of eating another closer, slower zombie? And don't get me started about how they might actually locate a live person when they wouldn't be able to see, hear, smell or have a functioning sense of touch.

But I digress.

Fear the walking dead. OK, good advice - like idiots, they'll drag you down to their level & then beat you with experience.

Pride & zombies - probably an improvement on the original.

Shaun of the dead - definitely an improvement on Dawn.

Girl guides and zombies - is that a barrel I can see the bottom of?

Cockneys and zombies - you're 'avin a swift 'alf mate.

MILFs and zombies - what the actual pox?

Stripperland - a deadly virus kills women and then makes them turn into zombie-strippers before they eat your brain (not that they'll ever find it if you watch this)?

Osombie - Osama is back, and he wants your brain.


I've seen just one of the above thus far (Simon Peg does know how to make a funny film) but the range and sheer DUMBNESS of zombie films will never cease to amaze me - that and the fact that people obviously finance these things being made (which is potentially comedy gold in its own right: you want to borrow money to make a film about something that can't happen, the film will become an object of ridicule AND lose money - sure, how much do you want to borrow?).

I guess you never can tell with people.

On second thoughts, maybe this IS proof zombies exist. ;-)

Hope the odd pun isn't wasted.

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