A post from yesterday, written in word.

People are weird.

Me included probably.

I’ve been trying to push fitness and endurance levels up a little (and my vanity is hoping for weight down) this last week.

Sunday the boy and I had a leisurely 12 mile-ish ride. Monday and Tuesday I extended my journey home to around 7 ½ undulating and absolutely flat out miles. Last night I did circuit training without an energy bar ‘top up’ first.

My hip joints damn well hurt this morning, knees a little less as well as tummy muscles, thighs and shoulders being uncomfy. Pretty sure the joint pain is trapped nerves – certainly HOPE so, as I’m due a replacement soon otherwise. It’s suitable retribution for feeling pleased with my performance last night.

And I’m still stuck on 12st 1lb this morning.

I’ve considered cutting food down further, but have reached the point where I can eat reasonably and still not feel like a complete bloater, so this is probably as low as it’s going. 11st 10lb would be nice but I don’t think it’ll happen this side of 60 without some serious deprivation. Ascetic I’m not.

What’s this got to do with weird?

Some people like pain and discomfort. Oh, there’s all those classic schoolboy smutty jokes about sadists and masochists, but some people really do enjoy the pain from exercise. Neither Chris nor I are one of them and although there’s a certain feel good factor from working out, the actual work outs just hurt, but I seem to keep meeting people like this. I just find it weird that people should enjoy the sensation of their bodies telling them to stop before you really do some damage.

Odd? Absolutely.

I'll be offline again today

Work to do, things to make.

Sorry.

There are times

that Chris and I feel like we'd like to live in another country, with fewer rules and less regulations trying to make us live a particular way.

This kind of thing, while well intentioned, is just another example of what's wrong with the UK.

There's too many people all occupying the same island.

I'm not ignoring you

I'll be offline all day today, so it's not personal.

What is it about winter?

That makes me want to build amps again?

Just started work on an amp for a guy I know through Harmony Central. There's no money in it for me, but it will satisfy my enjoyment without costing me anything more than time too.

The guy that originally assembled this amp must have been a plumber - there's so much solder in the amp. Last night I stripped all wires from the chassis. The next step will be to check which components are OK and which were fried/broken during assembly. Then finally I can start re-wiring, which is rather like a jigsaw puzzle where you have to actually cut the pieces to shape. Oh, and the only instructions I have are in German, although the schematic and layout are both international.

Quite looking forward to trying this one. It's like a 2 channel, 'clean' plus super-high-gain version of that little 'purity' I built in the spring. Only 5W, but it'll be a loud 5W.

Once this is done I'd really like to start a version of a Marshall JTM45 with 2 EL34s and around 30 watts. We'll see.....

Apparently I'm Dave Gilmour

Which famous guitarist are you? Your Result: David Gilmour You play from the heart. You also deliver a great show anytime. You have skill, but you really don't like to show off. You let the music come in second to the visuals of the show. You prefer to play with people who know what they are doing.
Jimi Hendrix
Adam Jones
Jimmy Page
Tom Delonge
Dimebag Darrell
Synyster Gates
Which famous guitarist are you?

The breakfast church

We're meeting here for breakfast tomorrow (Sunday) morning.

Hopefully see you all then.

Well, we got a ride in this afternoon.

Ben and I, that is.

Not far, around a fairly gentle hour's worth on the road (and he had slick tyres too - makes it desperately easy.... with the wind behind you.

Managed to build up the new frame far enough to ride that too, with bits borrowed from the Diamondback. It isn't what I'd expected, and there'll need to be quite a bit of adjustment to make it fit.

The good bit is that when you put effort in it responds well. There's a steep hill in the middle of Steeple Aston, and standing up going upit felt like the bike was almost pushing me forward. This is just what I needed for the winter, when trails get axle-deep in cag. It also corners very well, with an 'on rails' feeling that I've never had before, yet is sensitive to steering input without being twitchy. Ben wasn't going off-road with his tyres, but I did ride down the path beside the road coming out of Steeple Aston (fast and covered in loose gravel) and it felt completely at home, even letting it drift a little on the bend.

The less good - it's a VERY firm ride. The frame is a touch large at 19", and I can't get quite enough seatpost sticking out to absorb shocks. Also despite the 23" top tube, it feels quite short, low and upright: disappointing as I'd wanted to stretch out a bit, but there's adjustment to be made still. The forks currently on there are an old set of Marzocchi Z4s that I replaced the seals and stuff in last weekend. These tend toward 'tough' rather than 'plush' suspension, and respond well to bigger hits, but not to road ripple like my Fox forx.

So overall good, with a definite racey feel. It's come out quite light - I'd guess around 24 to 25lb, and a couple of pounds lighter than Ben's Saracen hardtail. Need to get a replacement front mech (wrong one sent) front disc brake (ditto) handlebar stem and some mudguards for it to be 'finished'.

Tonight

Hope Kita is having a good time down in P'mouth with Dan (and Dan's having a good.... etc).

Hi, you 2.

Argus

Chris writes;
Back when it was Toni's birthday & he wanted a load of CD's I discovered on the same site I could get a remastered CD of Argus by Wishbone Ash. This was an album Toni had (has?) which he used to play a lot when we were first married & which I rather liked. I ordered it but hadn't got around to listening to it until Toni put it on for me earlier.

Sarah really liked 'The Prophet's Song' by Brian May & I therefore thought that she would enjoy 'Warrior' & 'Throw Down the Sword' from Argus, but I didn't know you could get it on CD until recently.

Too late.

Oh crap!

In case you wondered......

I'm still here.

Without realising it, this blog slipped past the 1000 post mark a couple of weeks ago.

So life goes on. I want to reduce my net useage. I want to be more hard working. I want to become pro-active. I want to be more caring. I want to be someone else apparently, because all those things aren't really like me.

Not depressed, so much as contracted really. And I still haven't completed that bike (so near, yet so far).

Life isn't without successes. But I just keep trundling on, rather than living life to the full.

Wonder if my motorcycle has been fixed yet?

Random thoughts do not make for good blogposting.

This may seem odd for one so verbose.

I don't really have a lot to say right now.

Kind of gone-to-ground.

Bonjour mes amis

Yup, I'm back.

France was fine, but the hotels mostly don't have net connections in the rooms.

Now I'm just dozy.

TTFN

Well hi from France.

Or should that be 'high'?

I seem to have developed my cold nicely. If anyone remembers the 'Carlsberg' adverts, my voice sounds just like the guy doing the 'Carlsberg, probably the best lager' voiceover. And in contrast to the previous occasion I came to France, my French has dinminished from lack of use while their English is equivalent. I even keep thinking 'Si' and 'Grazi', or 'Jah' and 'danke'.

Had drunks shouting in th hallway of the hotel last night - even hammering on the door at one point. They went away about 12.30am. :-((

Tonight I head into Paris. Right now I'm in the corporate headquarters at Cergy Pontoise, about 30km outside Paris. Tomorrow we're off to Lille to meet and demonstrate in another lab.

Au revoir - laterz folks.

Now I'm tired with a headache.

We had an 'ampfest' today.

Some of the guys I know through Harmony Central (seriously good guitar players) run a studio in Liverpool. We're always talking about amps and stuff, so when they suggested having a get together I grabbed my stuff and went for it.

The M6 made like a carpark, and after nearly 4 hours drive I arrived, 3.30ish.

Unload: Woodcross P1eX, Madamp A15, Vox baby, Metisse purity, 2 1X12 cabs with some 70s Greenbacks and 6 guitars. All down into a basement.

Most of my kit is low wattage - 15 watts tops - and only the Madamp could really keep up with the 50W and 100W heads through 4X12 cabs. The Madamp was grabbed by one of the studio guys (Big Hair - he shaves his head) as soon as he heard it, went straight off to record their version of 'Tie Your Mother Down'. This was funny as they have many top end of amps there, but it just nailed that raw, gritty and aggressive May tone.

So we jammed a bit: blues, Led Zep's Rock n Roll, Alright now.

Set up the Metisse Purity for Al (the studio engineer) in a seperate room, as it couldn't be heard with only 5W output againsty the other stuff. Then suddenly it was 6.20 and I had to load the car back up again. Finally got home at a couple of minutes before 10 - didn't even get to eat as the queues in the motorway service station were long and IU didn't want to be late to collect Chris. If she calls in time I'll get chips after picking her up.

Good time - just wish we'd had a full day and I could keep up with some of the other guys.

Now I'm just getting a little nervous.

Next week I have a trip to France - training demonstrating in 2 labs: 1 in Paris and 1 in Lille.

That's OK, however I have to meet the head of our French company in Paris. I will arrive at the Gare du Nord, she at the Gare du Lyon. I'm going to have to buy a ticket to a place I can't pronounce so we meet in the middle.

Lets hope the Parisian train drivers don't decide to strike like they did last time I was there. Chris did a fantastic job getting the family across to parc Asterix and back while I was working - would have beaten me. BTW the kids reckoned PA as substantially better than Eurodisney, if you want do the theme-parc thing in France.

Worship Meme

Courtesy of Fernando and his desk.

1. One worship song that has changed your life.

I'm not sure a worship song has ever changed my life. A church I was part of when I was young put quite a bit of pressure on me not to sound like a rock musician, only for a lot of the songs less than 10 years later to sound a like I'd been playing. So there came a time when the way I'd played was no longer un-acceptable, and in some ways that brought freedom, while in others it brought disappointment. So no one song, but a change in attitudes maybe, both that of others and of me.

2. One worship song that you rarely get tired of playing.

"Jesus, we enthrone you". It's a simple, powerful song with a chord progression that remains musically interesting and lyrical content that orients the worshipper and God. It's a song that I can imagine people still singing in 100 years alongside "Oh for a thousand tongues".

3. One worship song you wish had never been written.

All those childish, rather than childlike songs with demeaning words and actions: the ones the adults sing at the kids and the children are embarassed for them.

4. Best worship experience you’ve ever had.

Tricky. One event does stand out especially - at a Dales Bibleweek in Harrogate (when I was a teenager) with about 10,000 people singing in the spirit. We were all just flowing together for maybe 20 or 30 minutes. I was young enough to just let go and be caught up in the novelty to be fully absorbed in the way the Spirit was moving through us.
More recently - say 3 years ago - in the same place, there was a worship team from a church in Poland that lead the worship time at a Salt and Light event there. Normally I get a little (or a lot) frustrated by the musical arrangements of worship teams, but these people knew how to flow in the spirit without words, yet expressing meaning through their music. It was one of the few times I've felt where the worship wasn't being restricted by the musicians, and instead there was a freedom and lightness - it felt like they were playing as I would want to. The lack of words clearly did not work for some, and things were cut a little short.

5. Worship songs you wish there were more of.

This is quite difficult - it's easy to say which songs you'd prefer less of. I'd like more songs with feeling that's not cliched in the music, and a greater depth of lyrical content, but which are not patterned after hymns - we don't want to write any more 2 century old pop music. Songs that cover the stirrings of the heart, but written by adults, rather than adults trying to sound like love-torn, peri-orgasmic teenagers would be nice too. Instrumental? Maybe, but that usually ends up in washes of tinkly piano sounds with running water in the background.

6. Pass it on.

Lucky victims.....
Dixie at Vandermeander
Nikita at Smiliekita.blogspot
Johanna at Gummie-worm pizza

Specially for Becky

A little touch of Jane Austen's 'Persuasion' being filmed by the BBC while we were in Bath.







I've deliberately cut the obvious signs of the 21st century out of the first 2, but polystyrene cups are a give-away in No. 3.

Alpha tonight

Rather looking forward to it starting.

Kita - if you're reading this, we're expecting to pick you up at the bus stop. Just let Chris know if you've caught the bus OK. I'll be offline all day.

If anyone from the Bicester/Oxford area wants to do an alpha course then see you at 13 Nuffield close, Bicester, 7ish this evening.

TTFN

Feels like winter is here

Blummin' eck it was cold.

8'C in central Oxford. I reckon it was 5'C max in Somerton, usually colder here in the valley.

Wearing summer shorts, even with a fleece top (which the chill cut right through) was a bad plan. Even my fingers were numb in spring/autumn weight gloves by the time I got here, and haven't completely warmed up even now. Still, at least I wasn't too sweaty.

That was a GOOD time.

We stayed here in the end. It's very central (which makes actually driving to the hotel 'interesting') and elegant in a friendly, rather than pompous way.

Monday night (the day before our anniversary, but what the heck) we went to the Thermae Bath Spa. It's a little spendy, but really enjoyable - swimming under the stars in a warm pool, baking in scented steamrooms - all good stuff. Got us ready for dinner in probably the best Indian restaurant we've been to. Sleeping was difficult with such a full tum.

Tuesday we wandered round the old Roman baths. Been there before, but not for quite a long time, so it wasn't so bad. The pools are quite remarkable, if you don't mind archeology.

And so home last night.

It was the actual anniversary, and we took Ben out for a meal. He met friends there, and was more animated with their company than ours, but I guess that's how it goes. He did get us a winerack for the occasion (I had suggested Chris would appreciate a card - details, details) so we shouldn't be churlish.

But a good time away. Thankyou for your prayers for us.

OK, we're off.

FINALLY found a hotel that looks nice and happened to have someone that could answer the phone. Harrington's here we come.

Now, pack in 5 mins.

What is it with hotels in this country?

2 different hotels in Bath, can I contact them by telephone? Can I heck.

GRRRRR.

Tis a curious time.

As of tomorrow, we shall have been married 25 years. That's not why it's curious.

In my mid teens I had quite serious depression for a variety of reasons, but by the grace of God didn't do anything irreversible and came through the other side.

At a time when we should be celebrating I've been finding those feelings coming back when I should be over them. The last week was a time of fluctuating between normality and blackness, and even in the periods of normality, all I really wanted was to hide. I know reality, and although it stops me doing stupid things it doesn't always enable me to carry on as normal.

Dunno where this is going really - I hate being a black hole for prayer and sympathy, and I also hate it when I can't respond to people's love and care - but I just need to keep pressing on.

So that's it, really. Sorry if I've seemed distant or vacant recently, but this is why.

I love this pic.

I've not seen the film but I suspect that wasn't *quite* how it was put.

Worship assessment

How do you like to worship God and find Him best?

One of the few quizzes online that's actually offering some insight and usefulness.

Sacred pathways.

I came out as contemplative:

CONTEMPLATIVES
Loving God Through Adoration

DESCRIPTION
“Contemplatives refer to God as their lover, and images of a loving Father and Bridegroom predominate their view of God. …The focus is not necessarily on serving God, doing His will, accomplishing great things in His name, or even obeying God. Rather, these Christians seek to love God with the purest, deepest, and brightest love imaginable.” (28)

“…holding hands with God. …we gaze lovingly at our heavenly Father and have our heart’s delight satisfied.
…(Contemplatives) want nothing more than some privacy and quiet to gaze upon the face of their heavenly Lover and give all of themselves to God.” (181)

CAUTIONS:
“Healthy contemplatives will understand that rich human relationships are a way to enjoy God’s love, just as is solitary and intimate prayer. …God can reveal Himself to us just as much in a conversation with a fellow believer as He can when we are on our knees in prayer.” (189)

“Some forms of contemplation wander form the folds of orthodox Christianity…we should beware of any meditation that calls our ego to somehow be absorbed into God rather than talking about relating to God.”(189)
“Contemplatives must move beyond mere meditation…to an alignment of our will and obedience into conformity with Christ.” (190)

WELL KNOWN CONTEMPLATIVES
Mary of Bethany, Dr. James Houston (professor at Regent College, Vancouver, B.C.); St, Teresa of Avila; Thomas Merton; Thomas Aquinas; Augustine, Julian of Norwich, King David

SCRIPTURES TO PONDER
Psa. 63; 116; 73; Song of Songs; Isa. 41; 49; 59; 61; Jer. 2:2; Mt. 26: 6-13; Luke 10:38-42; John 14-17

SONGS TO ENHANCE WORSHIP
Abba Father Open the Eyes of My Heart
Faithful One Power of Your Love
Here I Am to Worship Purify My Heart
How Beautiful Reveal Your Father Heart To Us
I Love You, Lord Seekers of Your Heart
Joy of My Desire Trust His Heart
Knowing You What Wondrous Love is This?
Lord, I Thirst For You When I Look into Your Holiness
More Love To Thee, Oh Christ With My Whole Heart

SUGGESTED ACTIVITIES
1. Make use of the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner) or some other prayer (Make haste to help me.) Purpose: to practice the presence of God, reminding yourself that Jesus is Lord, you are a sinner, you need His mercy.
2. Practice secret acts of devotion – something you do for someone else without letting anyone else know about it.
3. Carry a pocket piece – something tactile to remind you Who you serve, e.g. a small cross.
4. Dancing Prayer – allowing God to lead and follow Him wherever He takes you. Allow Him to speak and place requests before you.
4. Centering Prayer – Choose a word and focus on it (Jesus, God, peace, etc.) repeating it until it becomes a part of you. This is not “new age”’; it is a way to close oneself in with God, away from distractions. You are resting in God’s presence.
5. Prayer of the Heart – “focuses on emotional attachment to, or adoration or, God. …Its aim is to love God, to have our hearts enlarged so that God owns more and more of us.” (187)
6. Meditative Prayer – this is prayerful reflection of a biblical text or theme, use of something you can see, taste, touch, hear or smell. (Lecto Divina; placing yourself in the passage )

Some of it's right, although it misses the mark in places too. Interesting

Dagnamit!

Absolutely hammering down here right now, thunder and lightning, the works.

My muscles are killing me from Wednesday night circuit training. Cycling in was not a good plan this morning, but worse still was plate pouching. Stand still, making arm movements with intermittent squeezing. All those back muscles annoyed at being woken up say Aye.

AYE!

400mg of ibuprofen later I hope things will settle down soon.

Well this morning

was a very clear reminder of why I learned to drive (or ride a motorcycle, though that's just a compromise).

At least it only drizzled *most* of the way in.

The last (Siena) post.

We went to the market dead early – around 8.00am planning to get breakfast on the way, but somehow not doing so. It was big as these things go, selling everything from leather jackets and belts (3 euros for leather at one stall) through curtains to fish and meat.

By the time we’d checked out of the hotel it was 10.30 and the flight was at 6.30 so we were felling the squeeze a little. Chris had really wanted to see a town/city call San Gimignano (nicknamed San Germolino as we could remember the name well) that was famous for have most of its towers still standing. So abandoning the idea of getting to Pisa we turned off at the delightfully named Poggibonsi (it’s all industrial, having been flattened in WWII) to get there.

Perception is a curious thing.

After leaving Siena we could both feel a lightness, but once we’d parked in the park-and-ride area there was a sense of happiness and lack of the heaviness we’d both felt there. Chris even said “this is like being on holiday” despite the need to get to the airport later. So we wandered round yet another medieval city, just enjoying the views and looking at handbags ;-)

By 2pm we’d had lunch and found Chris’s Christmas present before heading back to the car.

There were 2 roads we could have taken to return to Pisa airport, and naturally we took the more ‘scenic’ route. This gave us delightful views of the Tuscan countryside (which looks a lot like the area between Stokenchurch and Henley on Thames only sunnier). Rolling hills, valleys with roads at the bottom and intermittent road signs. Curious how a little place like Pisa will be signed at one junction, then not mentioned at the following 2. Keeps tourists on their toes I guess…..

We made it to the airport in adequate time. No real drama, just the usual hurry up and wait. It was good to be home when we finally got there.

So Arrivederci Italia. I’m sure we’ll be back sometime.

Heard in the office

"I'm one of those people that can sing along to a song, recognise the tune anywhere, but never actually understands or takes any notice of the words."

"Yes, I've been to church too."