I discovered how to make the gravy Ikea serve with meatballs.
Mix 'blue' (full fat) milk & water 1:1, heat in microwave until boiling and then add bisto granules, a little maggi seasoning and some of that fried 'salad' onion. Voila, looks right, tastes close (but better) and no-one is going to know.
You simply need add some fairly nasty meatballs, reconstituted chips and a dob of cranberry sauce to complete the Ikea restaurant experience, all in the comfort of your own home and without the aching legs/wallet that usually accompanies a visit. It's up to you who clears the crockery and trays away.
Right, Heyford Park Christmas celebration fliers have finished printing - I'm off to cut & post (that was typed correctly).