This requires some food, preferably with a thick sauce, that has been stored in the fridge, plus a microwave. Heat the food thoroughly to make sure it's heated through. Stir it round to mix. Pop a small sample in your mouth.
Now the mistake.
You wait for the food to cool sufficiently instead of spitting it back out. And keep waiting moving it around so nothing gets burnt. Until you realise it won't cool down. And your tongue now hurts. A lot. A LOT! SPIT.
End of mistake.
Saturday lunchtime is a little spoilt by eating with a sore tongue, ditto dinner.
Sunday morning comes. On waking, your mouth tastes like it's been on a route march through somewhere muddy and then a desert for a week without a wash. You go to the bathroom to try to clear the debris.
Your spit is pink.
Spit again. It's red this time.
Your mouth fills with that slightly salty, slightly ferrous familiar taste that says "I'm bleeding inside". Out comes the tongue, now with a couple of fissures on the top surface from which threads of red are oozing slowly. Put the tongue away, try not to move it much, hope it will clot before you need to spit again. Fail.
Shave.
Wait.
Fail.
Clean shaver head.
Wait.
Eventually you peer again. No more threads of red. Tongue remains unenthusiastic about hot food for remainder of day.
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I have always been VERY careful with microwaved food, and this is the first (and last) time it's happened to me. There's a warning in there, somewhere.
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