Cycled to work this morning

for the second day in a row. It was colder and clear this time, rather than overcast and damp like yesterday, yet I'm significantly warmer - perspiring even, when this time yesterday I was quite comfy. Maybe things are loosening up, after a few weeks off the bike. I certainly pushed a higher gear most of the way here. My legs felt happier, but my bottom didn't approve of the saddle and the arches in my feet (alweays a weak point) complained bitterly too. They'll complain even more tonight - I've got circuits again, and they get very upset doing that!

A passion for the King

was the title given for Sunday - a whole day together with all the Oxfordshire community churches at the King's centre in Oxford.

The thrust was all about having such a passion and what to do with it. Things started with worship before moving into a kind of illustrated message. Then there were seminars before and after lunch, rounding off with a worship time at the end.

Chris and I went to seperate seminars, since we have different interests: she was certainly inspired by what she heard. For me it was a time of stimulation and reviewing things. It's hard to hear new teaching when you've been involved in the church for a long time, yet things can be explained in a way that you haven't understood before. I went to a seminar on 'crossing cultures'. I've been talking a little more about our possible calling to Italy (still not sure why some people laugh - unless they think it's all sunny beaches, vineyards and pasta - the cruelest empire that ever arose came from Italy). Afterward we spoke with Alec and Pauline Watts - a couple in their 60s that are about to move to Estonia to either support an existing church or plant a new one. Chris says she has faith for us moving as big as a 1cm gap between her fingers. It's interesting how this is unfolding - I felt God first speak about this one rain-drenched afternoon in Harrowgate about 5 years ago. I doubt it will happen for at least another 5 years, maybe more.

Funny stories abounded too. There's a couple - Neil and Dee - that we know reasonably well (I used to work with Dee) who recently returned from 2 years at Montargis in France. Neil was saying how the French consider the English hypocrites because they are too nice to speak the truth. He started to disagree after he'd been told his French was bad 3 times in 2 days (harsh, since Neil grew up speaking French in Belgium). Also how everyone is scared to invite people round for dinner because everything must be PERFECT. You have to have the right cutlery, correct wines, and the courses in the right order. And the ordeer for the courses varies according to which region of France you or your guests are from. Apparently this is a major source of fear, and many people won't have dinner guests because it would be too embarassing to make a mistake. Makes me glad to live in England sometimes.

In the afternoon I went to the songwriting workshop. Another area I need to re-start in my life. I know there's stuff bubbling under the surface, but there are issues I struggle with (particularly my poor singing). Again, it was good to have things put into a fresh perspective. Also interesting to hear from some people. One of the guys - Andy Neave - has been a pro musician for 20 years, working as a musician who is a christian i.e. writing music for secular use. He was suggesting now is a bad time to try to get signed with a big label, but it's a good time to start out independantly.

All this self sacrifice etc was interesting in view of what was in this mornings papers - someone committing suicide by placing their car on a railway line. Although they died, 7 others did also. The contrast between those that would give up their lives for others and those that don't care how many they hurt has seldom been made more plain to me.

Chris's mum.

Thanks to everyone who's prayed.

Chris's mum has been re-diagnosed as having low blood pressure. That may explain why she fell over whenever she got out of bed, although whenever checked at the hospital her BP was normal.

I'm not completely convinced, but the attacks seem to have stopped so I'll go with it for now.

Never thought I'd see the day.

when I could no longer see a point in debate with other christians. That time has come.

Never thought I'd see the day.

When I really couldn't feel united with other Christians.

There's a forum I'll not name, with some great brothers there. And there are some that belong to their country and party first and Jesus second. There are worse things they could support, I guess, but it's a deeply frightening thing to behold. It's the same kind of faith that would enable deeply committed catholics to burn protestants at the stake, and (I'm being generous here) enable Martin Luther to murder anabaptists.

Time to move on, before I say something I'll regret.

Sorry things have been lean recently

But they may get a little leaner yet.

I'm finding that I'm spending too much time on the internet, chatting on forums. When I'm not doing that I'm focussing on my guitars and things to do with equipment, again on the net. It's affecting my work and my walk with God. It's also been a time of struggles and temptation, and I've not come through flawless there either.

So I'll be trying to take a break.

That doesn't mean I'll stop posting altogether, or stop reading your blogs. But I really need to change priorities, and my main priority recently has been entertaining myself. Not good and not cool. I need to stop it now, and by the grace of God, that's what I'll try to do. Internet addiction is a little strong for it, but only just.

More new images

in the gallery from our holiday.

That time in France seems a lifetime away now. We're both tired, probably feeling the winter blues encroaching. Chris's mum keeps having these mini-strokes at the moment, and was admitted to hospital yesterday for further investigations.

I'm also really struggling to rub 2 thoughts together right now - it could be tiredness, but I took the kids to Drayton manor park yesterday, and some of the rides there rattled my poor old brain round in it's boney pan. There wss one ride that we did where I felt a distinct 'thud' inside and a couple where I came off feeling dizzy (isn't that the idea?). I didn't want to bail too much out of pride, I guess. It rubs in how old you are when you can't keep up with the kids on this stuff, and as I already look older than I am (43, look 53+ with grey hair) I'm battling that in a way I never thought I would. Didn't mind looking old when I was young because I *felt* young. Now I don't and it's suddenly an issue.

Maybe I should be grateful that there are always challenges to living.

Guess Chris's mum knows about that too, although I think she's rather standing on the sideline, watching the combat take place, more than participating actively.

So much for that!

About 10.15 am we got a call from a neighbour of Chris's parents - her mum had collapsed getting out of bed this morning, and had been rushed to the local hospital.One quick phone call later (putting off preaching AND playing) and we're dashing to Northampton.

It turns out that she had been having issue for some time. First pins and needles in her fingertips from time to time, then she collapsed in Tescos on Friday, then Friday night on the way to the loo, then Saturday morning (the one we knew about) and then this morning. The diagnosis is that she's having 'mini-strokes' which more or less resolve after around 30 mins. Asprin (to thin the blood) is the normal treatment. They tested her reasonably thoroughly and then sent her home at about 2.30pm this afternoon.

We arrived at the meeting this afternoon around 4.05, just after they'd started the meeting. I played (acoustic) guitar but didn't preach - I wasn't up for it after all the fuss.

An issue for the future.

Chris's mum had a mild stroke last night, it would appear. She's well enough now, I understand, but couldn't get out of bed this morning, as her legs wouldn't work.

Any available pray gratefully received. Thanks.

Finished, at last.

My first sermon in a very long time.

Hope it makes a difference, and isn't just a bit of theologically sound waffle.

I think there's a balance between preparing too early (so it isn't fresh in your mind any longer) and preparing too late (so it's not in a good order). I've been carrying most of this for a couple of weeks, and I hope I've got it right.

It's about how we're designed for relationship with God.

Beautiful morning.

So good I even took the camera out with me, but unfortunately the sun hadn't risen far enough, and the landscape was just a bit dark to make a decent image.

It's quite odd this year compared with last. All the trees dropped their leaves together at the very end of August. This year it's been so cool and wet that even though we're 2/3 through October most leaves are still green. They're begining to fall now, but it's taken this long for ANY to come down.

I might try a walk in a while, just to see if I can get some nice autumnal pics, maybe pray a bit.

At last!

I've got a couple of galleries of photos up from the holiday. It's taken absolutely ages, but I finally got there.

They're a bit of a mixed bag: some good, some not so good. I really wanted to convey some sense of what the places we visited were really like, so there are lots of pics that might not warrant hanging on a wall. In fact there are some that the locals would probably rather I hadn't taken.

Anyway, the first 2 sets are here and here.

Tonight will be interesting

A new experience.

Sarah has been going out with Dan for a year. They seem very much in love in an adult way, and he seems a nice caring guy, just a couple of years older than her. He's a nonnie, unfortunately, and that's not exactly ideal, but God can fix that.

We're going to celebrate with her by having a meal over at his parents place. Gulp.

If you've ever seen 'Meet the parents' I take comfort in the fact that I'm much more like Robert De Diro than Dan's father, who's a gently rounded accountant and musician ;-)

I don't really feel too bad about it - my brother met his wife when they were 14 and 15, although Chris and I were a little older at 16 and 17. I also heartily approve of marrying young for a multitude of reasons, provided the couple are mature, rather than silly about things. Much better than going through a string of 'boyfriends' who really just want their end away.

But even so, a daughter is precious and especially so at 15.

Well, it's been quiet here

but there's been a storm of debate (I may have exaggerated slightly) over at the Christian musicians forum about trinitarian worship.

Which reminds me of when some friends got married. A little girl there talked about doing things in the name of the father, son and holy goat.

Trinitarian worship

I went to a worship training day in Derby today, where we had an interesting topic of discourse - trinitarian worship.

The speaker was Robin Parry, talking about how our worship and focus as churches has drifted into being specifically about Jesus, and missed out the Father and the Spirit. There were some stats, based on all the vineyard albums produced since 1999, showing that only 1.4% of the songs made specific mention of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The Spirit was mentioned around 1% of the time. The greatest proportion of songs were of the 'you Lord' variety (i.e. not mentioning any specific aspect of God).

His point was that the theology people pick up is often much more strongly rooted in the songs they sing than the sermons they forget ;-) Thus there is something of a danger that people lose focus on the trinity, and only retain awareness of Jesus.

This is all very interesting, because over the last year as a group of churches we've been aware that God has called us to review our worship material. Quite a lot of songs in the past have concentrated on us, and we've seen a turning toward God: lifting Him up, declaring His glory, singing truths about Him. Now we seem to be getting reminded that there is more to the Godhead than just Jesus. I think we're experiencing a bit of a God-driven restoration in our worship.

Anyone else hearing similar things?

Feel like poo tonight

So nothing much to post.

Sorry Andrew, I'll reply when my head's come back together.

Gone, gone. The wretched thing's left at last!

My tax return, that is.

So simple.

So stressfull.

Obituary of a good friend.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr Common Sense. Mr Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.

Pressing forward, not looking back.

"I imagine there are a lot of people that could find incredible richness in the traditions and theology of their denominations"

I took this quote from a post on The Heresy about the Anabaptists, and their rise and decline. The thrust was that there is a great deal of value in the traditions of the various denominations and movements scattered through church history. Maybe because of what God is saying to the church line I'm part of, and maybe because He's saying it to me, but I feel quite strongly otherwise.

"You say 'I am rich. I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing'. But you do not realise you are wretched, pitiful, poor blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire so that you can become rich..."

This was not spoken to individuals, but to a church. This particular church had an appearence of godliness, but was neither persuing God with all it's heart, nor turning away from Him. Sound familiar? To me, with every move of God's spirit has come fresh reminders of different aspects of the truth He wants us to walk in. For example one can draw the need to confess our sins to our bretheren from Catholic practice, the need for each individual to find their own faith from the anabaptists, the need to be baptised from the baptists etc etc. The problem is that what has become of these 'traditions' are man's way of holding on to what they've got when the Spirit of God has progressed to the next truth He planned to reveal. The tradition is a way of making sure everyone keeps on doing what they did, rather than following the cloud.

Paul grew up in a culture rich with traditions given them by God. He had position and credibility in those traditions, yet what did he say? "I count it all rubbish compared to knowing Jesus". I appreciate this is slightly out of context, since he was referring to Judaism vs Christianity, but I think the comparison is a sound one - he was comparing a set of traditions that had been organised to substitute for a living faith in God and seeing they could not measure up to *knowing* God.

Please don't think I'm throwing away all the theology that goes with church history. However a portion of it has been carefully constructed to support whatever heresies were used to build and maintain the tradition, and it all needs thorough and careful examination before it should be accepted.

We recently were visited in the main church in Oxford by John Kelly from Bangor in Northern Ireland. He preached an impassioned message about how important it was to never be satisfied with seeing fulfilled God's promises to us. The thrust was that as one set of 'promises' are completed, so God opens up a wider expanse of possibilities to us, with 'promises' to match the wider scope. As an example he used the 'missionaries' sent from Ireland throughout Europe in the middle ages (he gave dates and much detail, but alas, I didn't record them) planting churches and bringing both education and the word of God to the courts of europe. His point - it was inconceivable that an insignificant church in a geographical backwater could have such a major role in a burgeoning world. It was only because several generations built each upon the previous, getting hold of God afresh for greater things that it was able to happen.

The essence of all this is that while there may be some nuggets to be found, I believe traditions are just man's way of keeping the clockwork wound long after the electricity of the Spirit has departed. I am sure that if Wesley appeared tomorrow, he would ask the methodists "What on earth do you think you're doing?" He would not be worrying whether people would still be talking about the things he talked of - he'd be wanting to know what God had done over the last couple of centuries. He wouldn't want people to find comfort in methodism - he'd want people to cast themselves on God for their ongoing salvation.

I want it to be said that I served God in my generation, but I certainly would not wish to leave behind anything that will allow other men to walk as I did, rather than find their own walk with God. This is not a negative word, but for me at least, a call to press forward, leaving behind all that has been and straining for the goal.

French market in Bicester

They apparently came all the way from France too! It was rather fun to bonjour, merci and au revoir with the real thing in sheep street.

I took the camera along and, fotopic willing, there should be 2 collections of images from it. I still haven't completed the holiday pics OR the Basel pics yet, but there were few enough of these (around 55, edited down to 42ish) that I just got them through sharpish. There were some interesting patterns, colours and people for the camera to catch.

Links are here for set I and set II.

Fascinating discussion

that however seems to be providing more heat than light here.

It's funny, but you can say things that appear to have a clear and obvious meaning, yet the reader totally misunderstands. And their reply shows they completely missed it. In the thread in question there is the problem of patriotism overcoming objectivity. Shame really.

The original article was all about how Europe and America perceive each other. I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that people should not be allowed to use web forums until they can demonstrate an acceptance of differing opinions in other people.

Oh well.

Delusions of adequacy

Are what I may have had recently.

Y'know that rosy glow you get when things work out? In my case, feeling like I'd lead a significant time of worship, managing to organise a couple of things. That's like saying to God "go ahead and show me what I'm really like" and of course He does.

I managed a complete debacle last night trying to organise the first worship team meeting for ages. For various reasons I'd managed to get the date, time and location to everyone. Everyone, that is, except the people who's house it was at :(

Oh, there are extenuating circumstances, but they count for diddly squat. I could have crawled under a brick last night, and never emerged again, let alone carried on leading things. But people were gracious, Mark and Helen coped with us turning up and the evening was of some use after all.

Life goes on.

An interesting link and resources

For us as Christians in a postmodern world.

Facing the challenge.

This link is not opposing postmodernism, but it does start to address how we need to adapt our approach (if we hadn't already) to people with this outlook. It also helps show why Alpha has been effective.

Hug, hug, huggy

We had a celebration in Oxford this morning, rather than our usual church meeting. There were lots of good and prophetic things said, but I don't want to discuss them now.

A celebration is, at least partially, a time to maintain relationships with the more distant bits of the body of Jesus. In other words, say 'hi' to all those friends that you haven't seen for a while, catch up on news etc.

And it's a time of hugging.

Women generally seem much more relaxed with a hug than men. There are some guys that will do it happily, like my good friend Nigel (married to Liz, from 'somewhere green'). There are some guys that are too large to hug easily, like my friend Toby who's around 6'4" and 280lbs.

I also met Sarah (from "the family Clarke") there, just up visiting. Hope my hug wasn't too much of a surprise. Good to see you again.

Please pray for Chris

We've just got back from the hospital. While we were doing circuit training this evening her vision in 1 eye went very dark, then started going into sparkles and she felt disorientated. After a few miniutes the vision partially cleared, but even now, hours later it still isn't right. On top of that she had a dull ache behind the eye which has sharpened over the last few hours to become very painful. Now just moving the eyeball hurts enough to make her yelp.

The hospital checked her reflexes and looked for pressure behind the eyes, but didn't find any. Tomorrow she'll go to the optician for more detailed examination.

Hope she can sleep.

Well, the blog roll has seen a few changes.

There were a couple of links that I've stopped bothering to follow, mostly because I feel they've stopped saying anything significant. Jordon's still there, because he often links to interesting things, although he's stopped posting much of his own thoughts. Somewhere green is sleeping, but I hope that it'll come back to life one day.

So, please welcome Marc and Johanna.

Talking of success.

I had a call from a head hunter today. The job sounds really interesting, and is related to what I do already quite strongly. I've read through the description, and I'm very sure that I could do it well.

But I like my present job, and if I go then it will add very greatly to the stress of those left behind. And I think I actually love the people I work with too.

Not too hard to know what the answer is, apart from Chris's "we don't want to move now" after I told her.

Which should we be more scared of: success or failure?

I was reading Scott's blog just now. He's been talking about the fear of allowing others to see him as he really is. And as the leader of a fellowship, so the people. They are discovering things about themselves too.

The post from Rose's blog struck a chord. She'd stepped out and danced, feeling self conscious about it, yet obviously with ability. When that ability was recognised and ridicule didn't result she felt amazed, yet released at the same time. This struck a chord for me in a number of ways.

Failure is a familiar friend, and occasional enemy, to me. I'm used to it and while not necessarily looking for it, have strategies in place to cope.

Success can be frightening.

Or to be more accurate, other people's recognition and appreciation of success can be very difficult to handle. I've been reasonably successful at work, and from time to time having that publicly recognised has caused a welling of emotion that is very difficult to handle. Not pride, but almost tears and certainly discomfiture. Church is a little different, since you can shrug off a bit of praise or say "it wasn't me: God did it" and often that's true.

And then there's confidence and assurance.

I wonder how much faith is linked to confidence? This Sunday I led worship. Before the meeting Clive (playing Keyboards) Paul(meeting leader) and I got together briefly. I said I had a cold, and that if the meeting went well then it was 'God's fault'. And although I stepped out in my own little strength, and stumbled a bit, He then took over and I was able to pray out words about healing hearts. I could instruct people to kneel before God in a way that 'I' could never do. But it all just happened, and rather like being part of a dance troup or playing a piece of music, there was a flow and I was moving into each place (rather lumpily as I didn't know where that place was) following the unseen score.

And you follow this or that, then people think you're a worship leader, and successful. I can feel those unwanted emotions even while typing. All I've done is read off a page I can't quite see and forget to trip up.

It's good not to get in the way.

By Sunday morning my cold had fully developed - nothing too serious, but a husky voice, fuzzy head and general feeling tired. What does the bible say - God is able to be strong in our weaknesses. Well, I was down to lead worship, and He was able to turn up without me getting in the way too much. What more can one ask?

Long post warning

The account from my visit to Basel in all it's glory. Read it if you have trouble sleeping - almost guaranteed to be a cure!