Not the odd few words in a public place, though I've managed that when put on the spot, but finding that I'm starting to pray for people and situations without having to.
After our friend Jo dying last year I effectively stopped talking to God - why do it if what we say or ask doesn't change outcomes? That question is still very present, but I found myself praying when I'd just woken up a few weeks ago, for a couple experiencing hard times and difficulties. It hasn't opened the floodgates, but there are people I care for that are struggling in a wide variety of ways.
I can understand somewhat why Muslims developed a theology of inshAllah - if God wills - not expecting Him to be involved with their lives. At least that's better than a Greek understanding, where their gods were just badly behaved people.
Thanks for your honesty, it's a comfort today.
ReplyDeleteA while back I just got so angry with all these new health challenges that I just stopped taking my little daily collection of pills. I was plenty pissed...
I was able to do that about four days until I had to come crawling back and start taking them again. It was a humbling thing to realize that my life has become so connected with them.
But as I say, your words comfort me today. Thanks guy.
Peace and much love.
Hi Toni, I found your blog through Ben and several of your posts on prayer rang bells with me. When CeCe was born and things were so uncertain around her health and future the vicar used to give her a beautiful blessing at communion. He'd ask that God be a tower of strength around her. That vision worked for me and I came to see prayer not as a way of changing outcomes directly but as a way of asking for help and strength to deal with whatever is thrown at us. I am too fatalistic and there was no way that her disabilities could be removed but i could see that God gave me people and experiences that made it possible to cope with things and see the positives, see why she is here as she is. Does that make sense? Hope you don't mind me commenting. My faith is a bit all over the shop these days but there are elements of it that stick and that's definitely one. Hope you're both well. Vicky
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