I've not been sleeping too much the last week or so: a combination of wanting to do stuff, thinking about things (waking up through the night) and the old body not really being happy about laying down flat.
This morning I finally got up at 6.30 after another uncomfy night, feeling bleary and a little headachy before heading off to men's group. Usually we do a study and discussion of some kind, but this morning we watched the film 'Courageous' - relatively low-cringe for a Christian film. However being what it is, it MUST show ups & downs, including the death of the key character's daughter in a car crash.
Coped well, right up to the point where he then starts thinking about his daughter growing up, using a dream sequence culminating with her in a wedding dress. That's great, lets twist the knife a bit too.
Managed to stay there, quietly, without thinking too many bad thoughts. Fortunately the film ran on for more than 2 hours, and I was able to escape before it quite completed; great because I didn't have to talk to anyone afterward. Chris sensed something was not OK when I got back in, and talking to her a little helped reduce the internal pressure. Now Mr. Ibuprofen and Mr. Paracetamol have reduced it a bit further and the headache is backing off.
Tomorrow I plan to talk about salvation, and how our choices now affect how we are being saved. The film was interesting, in that it showed characters who were quite distinctly 'being saved' and making good and bad choices. I am grateful to know and have walked with people who I can hold up in reality and say that they have made good choices and have demonstrated the evidence that they ARE being saved, despite not living in California, owning large homes and driving big shiny cars.
Headache backing off - I need to finish off the prep, including adding some 'family photos' to powerpoint for tomorrow.