Billy Connolly colonoscopy.
Actually, if you're sensitive, don't go there.
It's not that she needs one, but instead has that nasty tummy bug that's been going round. We visited a house yesterday where they were still recovering and ate there, and that's probably been enough to pass it on. Do feel sorry for the poor lass though, as she's been shivering violently as well as spouting both ends. I can also feel a certain gentle pressure in my nether regions, but while it's still comfortably containable it shall remain contained comfortably.
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