Is a question asked on the lent course we're doing as a church.
The obvious answer is to sing along to worship CDs more often, though I'm not at all convinced that's actually any kind of worship at all. But theology of worship aside, it had me wondering about the sort of music and songs we use in church, and particularly, my part in playing and helping lead worship through what and how I play.
I'd like to let you into a secret - most Christian 'worship' CDs make me feel icky and out of kilter after a while.
Some, usually those recorded at events that are about more than just singing like Stoneleigh bible week etc have the longest legs, possibly because the actual intent is about worshipping together. Others, including albums from some very well known, awarded and feted international 'stars' of CCM much less so. The latest album from a certain Irish group that I really badly wanted to like was so loaded with emotional stress and tension that it felt like a needle being pushed into my mind, and I couldn't even listen all the way through first time round.
Maybe it's my fallen, un-redeemed character that needs a bit of the nasty to feel OK?
Over-production, a common problem when people are seeking 'perfection' or 'excellence', doesn't help either, producing a form with nothing to criticise and nothing to inspire either.
So after listening to 'worship' for a while I might bung on some Thin Lizzy or Joe Bonamassa in the car, just to wash away the cloyingness and emotional pressure that seems to come through. It's not that I don't want the presence of God - far from it - because God's presence doesn't come or go for me with the music I'm surrounded by (provded I don't go filling my head with evil). But there's something, rather like cello music, about music from certain 'worship' artists that presses buttons and makes life harder instead of better. And I appreciate that not everyone feels like this, and will love the stuff I can't bear.
So yes, it makes me wonder what I might do differently, or whether it would be more of the same as I presently do? Would I always be under tension and stress, straining, trying, reaching, stretching to touch God as it so often feels from the way the examples I've given, or would I be at peace, relaxed and happy to be in God's presence? For that matter, is it possible not just to be relaxed, at peace and happy, but to be soaring with and enjoying God, of sometimes feeling joy so strong you want to laugh - and that happens too, sometimes.
Probably a good job I'm not playing this Sunday. ;-)