I have realised, through a good friend that our particular experience has not always been an asset.
People can and do grieve over a who bunch of different things, and we tend to 'spend' our emotions into overdraft, what ever we're doing. Our experience has made me see some people's grief as trivial, and that the things they can grieve over petty and minor instead of being every bit as real and strong as the feelings and turmoil we once had. It may be true that they ARE minor or even foolish, but that's not how things work inside people's heads and hearts.
It just goes to show, you never stop learning. Hope I remember this lesson without it needing to be hammered home.