How do you know when something is different?

About yourself, that is?

Not that I'm given to introspection (it's a damn silly practice most of the time anyway) but something has changed: I don't seem to be getting depressed any more. I can trace back to pretty much when it changed too. It was a couple or 3 days after I posted 'it's not enough to say I hate it'. I can't give you a day, but I can tell you to within that time frame.

What's changed? I've had flu and been quite unwell over the last 3 weeks, and in fact that almost perfectly coincides with when I hit rock-bottom health wise, 3 weeks ago. But getting ill is no reason to stop being depressed.

There's 2 things that stand out from that time.

One was that I determined (with a rather thick, fuzzy head) that I was just going to do my best to play whatever songs I had to play, just to help out. The other was that I started playing guitar 'properly' again.

When I was younger I can remember going stir-crazy on 2 week holidays with Chris, not being able to play, because normally I was playing so (relatively) much at home. My hands would almost convulse, and I'd hold approx guitar neck-sized objects and just finger chord shapes or lead lines sometimes. But that was 25 years ago, and I've changed a lot since then, play much less, don't really have withdrawal symptoms any more.

So I'd hate to think that's what has caused it, not least because I don't want to be dependent on anything like that these days, but the possibility lurks at the back of my mind.

Maybe it's time to make that non-church worship band I've been pondering so long a reality? Rachel - if you're reading, we should talk.

*edit*

There's something else that's different: the church is changing. In the past I've quite seriously wondered whether I were having some of the issues I did in a prophetic sense (might have even posted about it). A week last Sunday we got together and fasted for a day with continuous prayer going on out of obedience to what we felt God was saying through a number of different people. Now that IS different. There's other stuff coming through too, but I quite seriously wonder if this is the real key.