Thursday 20 January 2005

Loneliness, solitude and people

Randall posted this thread about loneliness and solitude from Nouwen. My initial reaction was "that's not how it is" but I had to dig harder for the WHY?

To me, loneliness isn't an internal factor to be fought - much more it's something induced by outside factors. I can be 'alone' and enjoy the company. I can be in a room full of people, all talking eagerly, yet feel isolated and bored. Feelings of loneliness are not natural to me, but instead, rather like a poor man in suburbia, it feels like I need a big house and shiny car. Where there are people around me, all talking together I can feel quite cut off. I'd much rather be home alone with myself, or meeting people this way, on a web forum. Loneliness isn't a product of being alone - it's a product to having a door of friendship shut in my face. Apparent rejection is the key.

There are some subtle reasons. I don't hear well, thus situations where there is much background noise, I can barely catch a word. It also seems that my ability to handle different pronunciations isn't very good, and it can take a few moments for my head to work through to the intended meaning. But mostly I just find it difficult to talk where things are really noisy, and that often means that traditional situations to enjoy company - clubs, bars, parties - all become stressful and depressing.

Soooo.... You're welcome to come over for a chat. Provided I can understand you ;-)

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